My brother died yesterday aged 34. Help me organise his funeral, please.

(53 Posts)
BusyBeeWithThree Sat 07-Mar-09 22:36:06

This has come as a complete shock to us all. He was handicapped with mental age of about three. He got out of bed three in the morning and collapsed. There has never been anything to suggest his life expectancy was any less than any of us so this really has shocked us all. My parents are in bits so am trying to help out with the funeral arrangements. All the readings I have found are too adult. Needs to be something more suitable for a child - I am struggling. Any suggestions would be gratefully received. sad

OP’s posts: |
noddyholder Sat 07-Mar-09 22:40:41

Hi I am so sorry what a shock for you all.I am afraid I am not religious in the traditional sense but The Prophet by Khalil Gibrahim has some lovely pieces which are suitable for many ages and religions and are really lovely to read.xx

hester Sat 07-Mar-09 22:41:56

I don't have any good advice, I'm afraid, but I do want to say how terribly sorry I am for your loss.

dizzydixies Sat 07-Mar-09 22:42:10

am so sorry for your terrible loss, I hope someone on here can help you with something that will bring you all some comfort

cyteen Sat 07-Mar-09 22:42:10

I can't help with advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say I am so very sorry for your loss

2shoes Sat 07-Mar-09 22:43:34

sorry for your loss

AbricotsSecs Sat 07-Mar-09 22:46:23

Message withdrawn

BusyBeeWithThree Sat 07-Mar-09 22:46:25

Thanks everyone, I don't think it has really sunk in yet. Just seem to be getting on with things and keeping busy.

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StripeyKnickersSpottySocks Sat 07-Mar-09 22:47:09

Am so sorry.

This website has a lot of readings, I hope you find something you like.

Tommy Sat 07-Mar-09 22:49:01

there is a bit in one of the gospels (sorry - can't think of hand exactly where it is) where Jesus says "In order to inherit the Kingdom of God, you have to become like little children...."

I will try and find it. So sorry to hear you sad news

tigerdriver Sat 07-Mar-09 22:49:23

So sorry for your loss

There is a poem called "God's lent boy" which might be suitable, I heard it at a child's funeral sad and it was very beautiful.

Hassled Sat 07-Mar-09 22:55:42

From Winnie the Pooh:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”

Google Winnie the Pooh quotes - there is a lot of good stuff.

I'm very sorry.

BusyBeeWithThree Sat 07-Mar-09 22:56:31

I can't find "God's Lent Boy" - I am sure that is the one I have read before and was looking for. Link would be wonderful please

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BusyBeeWithThree Sat 07-Mar-09 22:58:10

I love the Winnie the Pooh one-might put that on the order of the service.

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Tommy Sat 07-Mar-09 22:59:16

25 At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

(Matt 11)
We had this at a funeral of a child in our church

or this one:

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.
(Matt 18)

I really like the Winnie the Pooh one too

winnie09 Sat 07-Mar-09 23:00:41

BusyBeeWithThree, I am so sorry for your loss wha ta horrible shock. Having had to deal with too many deaths myself in recent years can I suggest you just say something about your brother? Perhaps write something about his character and what he meant to you.
You are looking out for your parents which is admirable and understandable but please don't forget to look out for yourself too.

Tommy Sat 07-Mar-09 23:01:05

is this it?

God’s Lent Child

“I’ll lend you for a little while
A child of mine,” God said
“for you to love the while he lives,
And mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or forty two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you
And – (should his stay be brief) –
You’ll have his lovely memories
As a solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth returns;
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true
And from the things that crowd life’s lane
I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love?
Not think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This Lent Child back again?”

“I fancied that I heard them say –
“Dear Lord, Thy will be done
For all the joys Thy Child will bring
The risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness,
We’ll love him while we may
And for the happiness we’ve known
Forever grateful stay.

But should Thy angel call for him,
Much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.”

- Author Unknown

tigerdriver Sat 07-Mar-09 23:04:03

This is the poem, I haven't looked at the rest of the website so sorry if any of it is upsetting.

BusyBeeWithThree Sat 07-Mar-09 23:08:59

Thank you. That is perfect it says everything. I am so touched, thank you. Thanks Winnie - so sweet. I think I could cope with reading a poem, not sure I could talk about my emotions IYSWIM too personal perhaps. Going to bed now but thank you so much for your help everyone, nite nite

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lilolilmanchester Sat 07-Mar-09 23:15:43

thinking of you busybee, sorry you're having to go through this xx

hazygirl Sun 08-Mar-09 06:09:24

im so sorryx

Littlefish Sun 08-Mar-09 08:08:23

BusyBee - what sad, sad news.

Did your brother have a favourite book that he liked to look at, or have read to him? Could you read it at the ceremony, as though you were reading it to him?

Sometimes, the actual words in the book don't have to have a particular meaning, but it's just the fact that it was his favourite book, and will remind your family of him.

CheeryCherry Sun 08-Mar-09 09:04:52

So sorry for your loss.
The Winnie the Pooh quote is lovely, simple but very effective. If you don't feel that you can read out a personal piece,jot down some fond memories, things that made you/him laugh, favourite places/people/objects/music/songs and ask the vicar/priest/registrar to read it out on behalf of the family. That worked well for us at a family funeral where we were all unable to get up and speak. We were able to listen and relive those memories for a few moments.
My thoughts are with you.

lottiejenkins Sun 08-Mar-09 12:59:37


This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..

This might be suitable?

duchesse Sun 08-Mar-09 13:11:35

Oh goodness how terrible for you all.

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