Can't accept my nana is dead.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

She died in July and I still can't understand that she is dead. I am an intelligent person but it just won't set it.

What can I do? It feels very unhealthy.

[thenewme]

SO sorry.

I feel the same. My Nana died in June 2005 and I spoke to her two days before she died. I wasn't able to go and see her or go to the funeral so there isn't that concrete occasion to know it is true.

I can't get my head around it at all.

I wouldn't worry tbh. I think it shows how much you loved her and if it helps you by not forcing yourself to understand, I don't see what harm it can do. JMHO obviously.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

I feel a lot of guilt and resentment as I didn't go and see her much when she was in hospital dying as I was having my baby. She was desperate to see him but I wouldn't take him to intensive as there was C-diff in there at the time and she had it for a little while, although she didn't know she had it. She also had pneumonia and cancer. She died of septicaemia.

I was angry that my mum couldn't come to see my new baby (who almost died, and I had PND and still do have it) as she could pass him C-Diff as she was going to see my nana. I was iscolated and terrified and I feel and felt so guilty at being selfish and wanting my mum.

I loved my nana so much, but it's like I don't feel sad that she's gone. I feel like I can call round and see her... but I can't.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

Sorry, cross posted. So sorry you're feeling the same way.

[thenewme]

I didn't go and see my nana as I was 9 months pregnant with a risky pregnancy and there had been MRSA in the hospital she was at before going to the hospice. She also said she didn't want me travelling over 300 miles.

Your poor mum. She must have felt so torn. So happy that she had a new grandchild but so devastated that her mother was dying. It is understandable that you feel angry with your mum but deep down I am sure you know she was doing the best for your baby's health.

It isn't that long ago that I went to phone my nana and then realised I couldn't. I had to take her name out of the phone as it was like a jolt ever time I saw it. I think of her every time I put the Christmas apron on she bought me the Christmas before she died.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

I too have done these things- picked out her Christmas prezzie, gone to phone her, not bothered getting a paper as I can nick hers when she's done etc.

I think it's hit me today as I saw someone who was the spit of her yesterday and I wanted to hear her voice, but she had the wrong voice. I just feel numb over all. Worried about when it will hit me.

Everytime I don't know something with the baby (as he's my first) I think it's ok I'll just pop over and ask nana as she lived in my street.

[thenewme]

I am always seeing ladies that remind me of my nana and sometimes it is just so hard. She was my only relative to ever bother with me and it is a strange feeling to be alone in the world - but have relations who don't want anything to do with me. She was also great at listening to me when I was complaining about the kids and never thought me as a bad mother. She would tell me the troubles she had with my uncle.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

There's a few of us- maybe we could have this as a nan-grieving thread to help us all?

[thenewme]

I will try and support you.

Such a sad time of year too.

[NoGoodAtCleaning]

Aw thank you.

I think you're right about the first Christmas being hard. I'm worried about my Grandad too, and he won't come over xmas as he said it's too upsetting.

[thenewme]

Could you go to him? Treat to him to a Christmas ready meal as he may not cook, nice drinks, pudding, etc?