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Need advice for friend about arranging funeral for her son

(6 Posts)
AnarchyAunt Sun 02-Nov-08 22:18:09

My good friend has just lost her son - he was only 24 and she found him dead in his flat a few nights ago sad It was very sudden and unexpected, there will be a postmortem this week to establish what has happened.

She is a single parent, no family support whatsoever, with a 3yo to look after as well, and she is struggling to deal with the arrangements for the funeral. Myself and other friends are helping as much as we can, she is clinging very tight to her LO which is understandable.

She knows he would have wanted a humanist ceremony and I have just printed out all the details from their website for her - anyone have any other suggestions as to where she can get advice on the basic practicalities of what she needs to sort out? She just does not know where to start, its too huge and tragic a thing for anyone to have to face alone sad

Her main concern though, is how on earth she can pay for it. She is on benefits so is entitled to a Funeral Payment but from what she has heard it is only paid on production of bils and reciepts and she simply doesn't have any access to the money in advance for any of it - not even taxis to the hospital where he is now. It is just heartbreaking as it is without this added worry for her, so I wondered if anyone could advise about any organisations that provide financial assistance?

Peachy Sun 02-Nov-08 22:20:06

Speak to a funeral director- tey usually dont get paid until insurance pays out anyway (at least ours didnt)- they will know and they are very helpful

purpleturtle Sun 02-Nov-08 22:22:30

I think there is a leaflet - What to do when somebody dies. Does she have that? Our local advice centre used to have them. That should cover practical stuff.

Undertakers must be used to dealing with Funeral Payments, and may be able to bill without requiring payment before it comes through, IYSWIM.

AnarchyAunt Sun 02-Nov-08 22:31:28

Yes I will ask for the booklet when I pick up the forms for the grant tomorrow for her, thanks.

I'm sure it can all be sorted out, she is just so lost in all this, its not the sort of thing you have a plan for..

Evenstar Sun 02-Nov-08 22:44:20

There is useful information online, I believe this section of the government website is pretty much the same as the leaflet www.direct.gov.uk/en/governmentcitizensandrights/death/index.htm and this one is also quite helpful www.ifishoulddie.co.uk/. The local benefits office should be able to advise about help that she can receive, it may be that she would qualify for emergency help towards some of the costs. Hope that helps.

purpleduck Sun 02-Nov-08 23:03:40

this site has some info on "Green" funerals and Woodland Burials.

It gives some infor on alternative caskets as well

I am so sorry for her loss - how devastating
sad

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