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it is 20 weeks today since Steve died, we are doing ok, I think.

(54 Posts)
onlyjoking9329 Mon 27-Oct-08 18:59:07

we are getting throu the days, some days I am not sure how to get out of bed or how life seems to carry on around us, but it does.
Me and the kids are in menorca at the moment a place Steve loved, I promised Steve that we would come back here and go to his fav places, we have done some of them, I am very proud of the kids and how they are coping and I know Steve would be proud too.last night we were invited to a party at steves fav resturant, the kids were looked after very well and I was too, it is clear Steve marked many peoples lives.
I am bracing myself to vist steves fav caves and also the beach where the kids want to write messages in the sand for their dad, I wish I could be as brave as our kids.

Scootergrrrl Mon 27-Oct-08 19:00:30

You're the bravest person of all, holding everything together for your family. Take care x

RubyRioja Mon 27-Oct-08 19:00:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icanseethesea Mon 27-Oct-08 19:02:36

OJ, have seen you post several times this year. My heart goes out to you. But I honestly think you are very brave and from what I have read you are dealing with your bereavement with great courage and dignity.

bellavita Mon 27-Oct-08 19:03:45

If I had half as much courage and bravery as you OJ, your children and Steve, then I would be happy.

You are all remarkable.

MatNanPlus Mon 27-Oct-08 19:06:00

You are facing live with a forward face and a heart of memories and i do believe your doing it in a superb fashion.

onlyjoking9329 Mon 27-Oct-08 19:07:43

Steve showed so much courage and dignity, he taught me a lot and I fully intend to do the very best that I can to pass these lesson on to our children, god I miss him so much, he would be bursting with pride if he could only see his kids and how they are coping, heck I am bursting with pride I just wished I could share it with him.

RubyShivers Mon 27-Oct-08 19:09:25


i take my hat off to you and your family OJ

you are a wonderful woman


WingsofaBatEyeofNewt Mon 27-Oct-08 19:11:52

OJ your are doing so well and Steve will be proud of you all. I'm sure he watches over you and knows all that you are doing.
Take care x

onlyjoking9329 Mon 27-Oct-08 19:20:27

I hope he doesn't see everything, he would be shocked at the ironing pile for starters wink
I think he would be proud thatwe are doing the things I promised we would, I promised we would take his ashes to the beach in lanzarote and I promised we would come to menorca, we have done those things, I promised to do the best I could for the kids, that is very much a work in progress thing but I know he would understand that.

ILikeToScareYouScareYou Mon 27-Oct-08 19:23:21

You're such an inspirational lady OJ.

IME the passing of time doesn't make things better, just different. I have so much admirations for you and the kids.

onlyjoking9329 Mon 27-Oct-08 19:40:36

the old time thing.
Time makes things better.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I dunno which is true, it is probably a bit of both.

onlyjoking9329 Tue 28-Oct-08 18:51:20

we went to steves fav caves today and they were closed, so we went to the beach and all wrote a message in the sand for him, I have been putting it off but I was surprised to find that it was comforting, I think it helped the kids too.
We fly home on Friday and it will be good to be back I have missed having friends around thou it has given me confidence to know that we have managed on our own.

BoysAreLikeZombies Tue 28-Oct-08 18:52:27


ComeOVeneer Tue 28-Oct-08 18:57:07

Tis fab you have coped so well with all the children on this trip OJ. I am certain he knows exactly how you are getting along and must be so proud of all of you. Bet he doesn't give a stuff about the ironing grin. You are indeed an inspiration to us all and although I have rarely posted on your threads as I feel my words are generally inadequate, I do think of you and the children often and it helps me gain some perspective with issues trivia in my life.

onlyjoking9329 Tue 28-Oct-08 19:05:04

thanks, thou no words are inadaquate, this is a very steep learning curve and not one anyone plans for, I know I said until death us do part but I didn't think it would actually happen, our situation has made a lot of people evaluate their lives and relationships and that is a good thing.

BBBeeast Tue 28-Oct-08 19:09:20

like COV I have not often posted but have very often read to see how you are getting on. You are very dignified.

I am glad you found some comfort today.

robinpud Tue 28-Oct-08 19:11:23

OJ- I am still watching for your posts, and admiring how you are managing. Menorca must be a heck of lot warmer than NG. I saw a gritter this afternoon! Take care of yourself.. travel back safely!

onlyjoking9329 Tue 28-Oct-08 19:24:05

dunno about dignified, we just muddle throu!
It has been cloudy all day and now we have a storm, thou it is still warmer than the uk.
Robinpud we still need to sort out coffee at ikea.

Yorkiegirl Tue 28-Oct-08 19:29:42

Message withdrawn

PsychoAxeMurdererMum Tue 28-Oct-08 19:35:29

leaving a huge hug for today. you are a wonderful wonderful woman OJ, do not forget that.

BreevandercampLGJ Tue 28-Oct-08 19:35:46


As you know, my Dad is dying. Someone asked me in work today if he was getting better as I seemed so upbeat.(as opposed to last week)

I replied that my Dad is playing a blinder,and as such I owed it to my Dad to live my life as best as I can and to the full.

I would always have had that mindset, but you and Steve hardwired it for me. IYKWIM.

I am so proud of you. Sorry for the hijack but you guys touched more lives than you will ever know.

Much love



stleger Tue 28-Oct-08 19:38:15

I am always in awe of you and the kids. You are fantastically strong, even though I'm sure you don't always feel it! Well done on having the week away.

Bubble99 Tue 28-Oct-08 19:47:10

Your posts so often leave me feeling humbled, OJ. And as others have said, teach me to be grateful for all that is good in my life.

Grace under pressure. My heart goes out to you.


Bubble99 Tue 28-Oct-08 19:50:50


Have I mentioned that I'm really looking forward to seeing you? grin

I am especially looking forward to making Mr Bubble wake up with all four of 'em [really evil emoticon]


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