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I'm not coping with thoughts of nextweek and can't sleep without thoughts of Tia

(31 Posts)
Tiamummy Fri 17-Oct-08 23:58:24

How am i supposed to get through this much pain. I just about manage during the day, but as the night draws in i just realise we're one step closer to our last goodbye sad

solidgoldskullonastick Sat 18-Oct-08 00:01:56

The only thing anyone can possibly offer is that this terrible pain will ease in time, bit by bit, step by step, day by day. YOu will never forget, it will never entirely go, but it will slowly become bearable and you will be able to think of your lovely Tia and smile at how lovely she was.

SO very sorry for your loss. MN is a good source of support, please use it as much as you need to.

PoppyCoc Sat 18-Oct-08 00:10:42

Try not to think too far ahead, concentrate on getting through the next minute, the next hour.

So sorry for your loss

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 00:11:48

She was so beautiful, she will always be beautiful to us. My baby, my angel, my firstborn. She is so missed that i can't imagine not seeing her. If i could swap places with her i would sad

kormAaaarrrggghhhchameleon Sat 18-Oct-08 00:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hollyandnoah Sat 18-Oct-08 00:20:02

(hugs) i am so sorry for your loss. I do not know what you are going through but just reading your words makes me so sad. I know it must be so hard. xx

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 00:32:18

Even i don;t understand what's happening. Do you know i laughed at something on the telly earlier, then felt a bolt of guilt for laughing and burst into tears. We've got to choose what clothing to take to the fd, but there's nothing i want to let go yet want her to wear something important to us and her. There's so many decisions to make and we can't do any of them with any inch of ease sad

hollyandnoah Sat 18-Oct-08 14:27:18

Hun i am so sorry. Laughing is good though and you don't need to feel guilty. If Tia could choose, she would want her mummy to laugh.
(hugs) it will get easier, i'm sure. xx

wheniwasyoung Sat 18-Oct-08 14:29:43

I am so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you are going through. sad

I hope it isn't crass to suggest you buy her something new to wear? It will still be an important outfit and one bought specially for her last journey. I am so sorry. sad

Pixiefish Sat 18-Oct-08 14:29:55

so sorry that you're going through this xx

AlexanderPandasmum Sat 18-Oct-08 15:08:35

Hi Tiamummy,

I am so sorry to hear about Tia sad. My little boy was stillborn and I still regret not asking for any of his clothes back (ones that he had worn once but had changed out of).
Have you thought about having two outfits the same so that you can keep one and she can wear one? That way you can still look at the other one? I know a lot of bereaved mummies have also bought a bear for their LO to take with them and a bear to keep that is identical, which I wish I had done.

Thinking of you over the coming weeks especially.

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 19:30:54

sad I can't think of anything to type

lauraloola Sat 18-Oct-08 19:55:57

Take it one day at a time. I know you have probably heard that loads of times but it really is the best way to do it.

Are you and your husband talking to each other about what is going on in your lives at the moment?

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 20:15:36

We're trying, but he's shut down over alot of emotions, where as i'm needing to talk and be practical about things which need doing for Tia. I feel as though i'm constantly battling to get him to open up to me and face things. But i can't be the one to prop him up when i'm needing so much myself. I know he's been talking to his brother though which is good, but god i wish he'd open up to me and let me in abit more sad

lauraloola Sat 18-Oct-08 20:19:50

Men handle things like this very differently. Its good that hes talking to his brother.

Have you tried getting out of the house and talking? Maybe a walk somewhere.

Do you have family close by that you can talk to? Is Mum around?

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 20:41:10

We live near the beach and quite often wander down there early evening or at the weekends, but it normally ends up with us being in reflective silence, holding hands or sitting and just holding eachother. If i try and talk about things with him i get 'not now' or 'can we talk later', which obviously makes me feel bad for it looking like i'm pushing him when i'm trying not to. I know he'll talk in his own time, but i'm so worried about wednesday i really think he needs to start talking to me before then.

Both our parents live close, with my folks only about ten minutes away. I'm lucky to have a fantastic best friend aswell, but although they are wanting me to talk to them all the time it's so hard seeing your loved ones hurting aswell sad

umberella Sat 18-Oct-08 20:43:11

keep talking to him tiamummy, you need to hang on tight to each other and support one another. take each day as it comes and just do what feels right for you. i am so so sorry for your loss, i cannot imagine your pain sad x

lauraloola Sat 18-Oct-08 20:47:47

Where is he now? Maybe you could put in writing what you would like to happen on Wednesday and the things you need to do before. Ask him to have a look and make and changes or add things he would like to happen. It could be a good way of getting the conversation started x

Tiamummy Sat 18-Oct-08 20:59:21

He's downstairs, i'm sat in bed at the moment watching xfactor. Thanks lauraloola

quaranta Sat 18-Oct-08 21:25:26

Tiamummy, thinking of you. I am so so sorry for your loss and cannot begin to imagine what it is like. You sound like you re coping amazingly well, agree with umbrella, get through one day at a time. Synpathy and very very best wishes to you and your DH and family. Keep posting. x

Tiamummy Sun 19-Oct-08 10:28:19

No, not coping in all honesty. I'm just doing my best to get through each day sadand hold us together.

bellavita Sun 19-Oct-08 10:32:28

Just wanted to say I am thinking of you and your family. xxxx

quaranta Sun 19-Oct-08 22:58:02

Tiamummy thinking of you. Coping IS just getting through each day and holding it together. Lots of us here thinking of you . XXX

chutneymary Sun 19-Oct-08 23:04:27

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I will be thinking of you over the coming weeks - sending you strength and very best wishes.

sb6699 Sun 19-Oct-08 23:31:11

Sorry no advice but sending you love and strength.

Will be thinking of you on Wednesday.

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