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Which poem for me to read at a funeral or your own ideas

(12 Posts)
twinsetandpearls Fri 19-Sep-08 00:00:58

I am speaking at my grandmas funeral tomorrow and wanted to end with a poem.

My gran was quite a dificult charactar and as a consequence there will only be about half a dozen of us there. She was someone who refused to conform and has done lots of very eccentric things. When I was yonger she spent lots of time with me teaching me about nature and sewing.

I have 2 choices so far
Lots of us perhaps did not give enough time to my gran as as she was difficult and even cruel and let other things get in the way . I think we could also learn from her to live life to the full or break rules. THis leads me to choice one:

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?

When you ask: How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call and say, “Hi”?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It’s like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Or a suggestion from mumsnetter drawing on the idea that she was eccentric

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I am concerned if this will offend anyone especially as she died in a lot of debt.


thumbwitch Fri 19-Sep-08 00:04:13

Who are you likely to offend? Others in your family? If not, then don't worry about that.

If you think it is appropriate, use it. I like the 2nd one, it is the one I was going to suggest for you as well.

Hope it goes well (as well as these things can anyway)

sleepycat Fri 19-Sep-08 00:04:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twinsetandpearls Fri 19-Sep-08 00:11:04

My mum was not sure about the second poem and I am not sure if her sister would see it as a fond nod to her eccentricity or a little disrespectful.

twinsetandpearls Fri 19-Sep-08 00:11:48

My sisters both like the second one, it was my choice until I saw the first one and now I can;t decide.

If anyone can think of anything e;se please say.

mamazee Fri 19-Sep-08 00:13:23

i like the first one. i really like Mary oliver poems but i don't know if there is an appropriate one ?
good luck...hope it goes ok

Califrau Fri 19-Sep-08 00:18:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch Fri 19-Sep-08 00:21:57

perhaps then you could 'do a Reader's Digest' on them both - use an abridged version and take out any reference to spending all her money or anything you think would offend. THe only other one I can think of would be this one:
Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918), Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Death is nothing at all...I have only slipped away into the next room...I am I and you are you...whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone: wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect, without a ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner...All is well.

We used that one at my nan's funeral.

twinsetandpearls Sun 21-Sep-08 10:16:30

I did the first one with some memories, got to the end but it was in a very squeaky I am about to cry voice.

cathcat Sun 21-Sep-08 12:12:15

Well done, it must have been very hard. I hope it went okay and you were all able to say goodbye to her.

twinsetandpearls Sun 21-Sep-08 14:50:13

Thanks cathcat.

thumbwitch Sun 21-Sep-08 23:19:14

well done Twinset - I applaud your ability to do it at all. I would have been completely incapable of speaking at any of my recent family funerals so hats off to you.

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