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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Am doing the speech at my grandmas funeral and a bit lost on what to say.

31 replies

twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 09:20

She was quite a difficult woman and hardly anyone is coming as she has upset so many people. What would people say?

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lulumama · 14/09/2008 09:23

a strong willed, determined and forthright character, who was respected and made a strong impression on many people... ??

focus on something positive.. was she a great cook? a voracious reader? anything?

talk a bit about any job she may have had?

anything interesting or unusual from her life?

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SqueakyPop · 14/09/2008 09:24

You could give a little anecdote about a specific event in her life - a day that you shared together - rather than trying to summarise her entire life.

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:10

That is a good idea squeaky.

She has had lots of unusual and interesting parts of her life but perhaps best not bought up at her funeral.

Looking back she has had a big influence on how I raised my dd so I could refer to that.

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:14

dont make it complicated

is there something you respected her for

i think in this sort of ambiguous context respect is a good angle

and agree if there was one occasion that you remember in a good light that would be nice

if referring to her eccentricity or strong views or determination against the odds is going to be ok with the family then that would be fine to i think

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:17

her views werent always popular but they were strongly held and blah

well i dont know its hard

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:18

sorry i always do this i apologise

please accept my condolences..

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:27

I am going to refer to her eccentricity, we all knew her so it would be daft to paint her in a false way.

Any poems that may be appropriate.

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:30

well this is always good dylan thomas

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MrsBates · 14/09/2008 20:31

Hard re poems without knowing the nature of her eccentricities. We had Warning by Jenny Joseph (When I am an old woman I will wear purple) at my mum's funeral. IT was apt for her in many ways.

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:32

maybe william blake

one of innocence and experience

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MrsBates · 14/09/2008 20:35

Meant to say good luck. I have spoken at a lot of funerals and it's really hard to know how it will feel when you're up there. Some humour maybe - if she was a bit of a stormy character? There is a good book called 'The Long Pale Corridor' - anthology of poems about death.

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:43

I will try and outline her eccentricities.

In her day she was the party girl of the town and no one was surprised when she lefty her husband for another man.

She spent years pretending she was wheelchair bound, she was caught out when she was seen dancing at a disco with a young man 0 she was about 65 then,

At about 60 she ran off to India with a cult and declared herself to be a prophet.

When I got divorced she told me very sweetly that she would pray for me as it was likely I would go to hell!!!!

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:45

She was a fab grandma though, taught me how to sew, had a house full of books that I would sit and read for hours. She taught me all about animals, birds and plants. Lots of thr things she taught me I am now teaching my own daughter.

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:45

spike milligan

bump

letters
fear

granny

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:48

Actually warning sums her up quite well!

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:48

i wrote a poem about spike miligan and his manic depression after he was on tv accepting a lifelong award

it is rather good

tho i say so myself

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:51

I love Spike Milligan as well though

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 20:52

but she was never a poor old granny and would have hated being referred to as a granny.

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MrsBates · 14/09/2008 20:55

She sounds fabulous. Not as a wife obviously, but as a grandmother - I'd watch a film about that lady! Hard to pitch the mood of your speech but I guess people are making their strong feelings known by not coming, so you can focus on your own relationship with her. Lucky you to have had her and I'm sorry she's gone.

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zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 20:57

god i would hate to be referred to as a granny too

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CurrantBM · 14/09/2008 20:58

I did the same thing at my dear Little Nans funeral a couple of months ago.

I basically talked about the little funny memories all the granchildren had of her. She used to look after the five of us on a Saturday night and also on New Years Eves so our parents could have some fun. The speech was added to by each of us, but I read the whole thing, 4 sides of A4!

It was a bit daunting at first but I practiced it lots, I was wobbly for the first sentence then I took a deep breath, and it was fine, and I'm a real softy.

Everyone said it was a lovely speech just as they knew her and I even made people laugh, which was good as Nan would have enjoyed that.

You should keep it as a personal remeberance of her, that way it will all be heartfelt, just talk of your positive and fun times, and how things she taught you you can now share with your own children. I was taught cartwheels down the hallway, when she was in her 50's.

Hope it all goes well for you, I felt so proud when I had finished and I know Little Nan would have really appreciated it.

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 21:00

She was fabulous and I always admired her eccentricity although she could also be very mean. Her neighbours kept chickens, the rooster used to annoy her. The neighbours caught her trying to slit its throat.

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twinsetandpearls · 14/09/2008 21:01

I am very good at public speaking so that bit doesn't worry me but I do have a very dry sense of hunour so I know my mum and sisters are nervous of me doing it. My mum does not like the warning poem.

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BreeVanderCampLGJ · 14/09/2008 21:09

You could start with..............

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

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purpleduck · 14/09/2008 21:10

"She was a fab grandma though, taught me how to sew, had a house full of books that I would sit and read for hours. She taught me all about animals, birds and plants. Lots of thr things she taught me I am now teaching my own daughter."

T&P - That sounds like a great start there...
Sorry for your loss - it sounds like you gained so much from having her in your life.