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how do I approach this?

(4 Posts)
busymum1 Thu 11-Sep-08 20:42:11

another mother at the school had a baby about 6 weeks younger than my ds2. He survived with heart problems until just after his first birthday but unfortunately his operation was unsuccessful and he died about 4 weeks after his birthday. My ds2 has just had his birthday so I know it must be soon he would have been 2 I want to show the mum I still care without upsetting her unneccessarily was thinking of a card saying thinking of her but should I mark both occassions i.e. birthday and anniversary or just one? I unfortunately can not remember his birthday and neither can the school but will ask at nursery next door as his sister went there. I don't want to ignore her either. The woman is african but now speaks quite good english and we talk well in the playground but only occassionally outside of school would appreciate advice please.

avenanap Thu 11-Sep-08 23:24:32

I would send a card to say that you are thinking of her and her family at this time. This would cover the birthday and the anniversary.

bythepowerofgreyskull Thu 11-Sep-08 23:26:46

My friend lost one of her twins about 2 weeks before my ds2 was born.

each year around a week before the birthday I send a card. This year the card said "a hug for whenever you need it" inside I just wrote thinking of you all.

I think a card is a good idea.

frumpygrumpy Thu 11-Sep-08 23:35:45

There are a couple of mums I know (on the multiples thread I'm on daily) who have lost children. They aren't keen on the term "anniversary" because it makes it feel like its some sort of celebration. We all call it their "remember" days.

I think its a fantastic idea to let her know you have remembered and I think she can only be touched by that.

The ladies on our thread adore anyone remembering their children. They love that, however long after, someone would take time to even mention their child's name. If you don't have a date.......can you get a name?

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