For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

(1001 Posts)
lottiejenkins Wed 10-Sep-08 14:01:40

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

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shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 14:07:01

You did a good job Lottie - it looks perfect. I dithered and worried over and over when I started the last thread. smile

The thread title is just perfect xxxx

hazygirl Wed 10-Sep-08 14:17:40

well done lottie,remembering all our angelsx

oopsadaisyangel Wed 10-Sep-08 14:25:23

Good job lottie!

Here's to our wee angels xx

[thinking of you always Finn xx]

lottiejenkins Wed 10-Sep-08 15:16:37

Ive just had a lovely surprise visitor! My friend Michael and his partner Kaz had a little boy Jay the day before yesterday and they called by on their way to the shop so i could see him. Im the first one outside the family to see him. My friend will be jealous as they went right past her door to get to mine and ive been told not to tell her!! He is absolutely gorgeous 5lb 15oz. I cant wait to have a cuddle with him, they didnt come in as they wanted to keep him on the move........ Im so so chuffed that hes been to see me!!!

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Thelighthousekeeper Wed 10-Sep-08 18:04:08

Well done Lottie, the title is perfect.

shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 19:05:56

Its comfy in your Jacks thread Lottie. Comfy with proper people grin

<<Shabbs drapes herself over the sofa and hopes she is not flashing her knickers>>

lottiejenkins Wed 10-Sep-08 20:45:25

I'm glad its comfy Shabs.............grin I have just got in... Antonia and i went to my mums and surprised her with a bottle of wine to ay thanks for mum babysitting last saturday and letting Antonia go to her party. There wasnt much wine left when we left...blush

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shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 21:13:06

New pic of my granbaby Lewis on my profile!

mel1981 Wed 10-Sep-08 21:13:12

Well done lottie the title is perfect- so fitting. Thinking of all our little angels. xx hope everyones well. x

shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 21:19:39

Hiya Mel - we are all OK up in the frozen north - well Lancashire to be precise.

Thelighthousekeeper Wed 10-Sep-08 21:24:42

Shabster -he's gorgeous! What a sweetie.

frasersmummy Wed 10-Sep-08 21:45:44

hey our third thread.. well done Lottie..

lighthouse.. what you are feeling is completely normal...unfortunatley.
I always said I wouldnt deny Fraser either but like you did today, I find that there are times and places when opening up about my little boy just doesnt feel right. The guilt about not mentioning Noah will get easier over time. Just cos you dont mention him doesnt mean you have denied him honey.. it just means you didnt want to feel the raw pain right there and then.

I bought myself a Sands wristband and I wear it all the time.. I feel it shows I am thinking about Fraser even if I dont mention him ..makes me feel less guilty

frasersmummy Wed 10-Sep-08 21:47:31

shabster that poems amazing and soo true of this thread

I have saved it among my poems, thoughts etc about Fraser..

thank you

mel1981 Wed 10-Sep-08 22:01:04

Hi Shabs its getting colder here too- had jumpers out today& still p*ing down! hows the rain up north now?
Lighthouse- with ref to frasersmummy's post I have ghost perfume which was a present the xmas I lost Jack and now if im missing him I just spray it and it reminds me of him- I wear it most days. maybe theres something you have or can do that can be 'rememberance' thing? Everything your feeling is completely normal.
My FIL has next appointment on wed so hopefully we will find out more then(-ive heard that before!) everyones getting so frustrated with the waiting. my MIL is panicking about the future& they feel like they cant make plans, like holidays, etc. Its just so unfair. sad

shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 22:17:09

It has rained every day since we came back from our holidays in Rhodes. So that is every single day since 12th July.....I hate the cold and rain.

Thats a lovely idea about the perfume.

mel1981 Wed 10-Sep-08 22:50:53

thanks- it wasnt intentional my sis gave it as a prezzie & I wore it to his funeral and I think from then on the two just linked together. I put it on and just go into my own little world thinking about him. I have a limited edition teddy in my room for him too so when I see it again im reminded of him. I miss Jack so much still he should be starting playschool now sad its weird thinking im going to have a life time of he should be doing this or that now. Some times it still just feels like a horrible dream- Like it hasnt really happened.

shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 22:55:08

Oh I know those 'he should be' feelings so well.

I keep thinking - I should have twin boys who would be 27 at the end of December, I should have Matt who would be 24 now and my lovely lastborn Tom who just turned 11.

I long for them to all be here. Can you imagine how full this house would be at Christmas and birthdays. I always wonder who they would have married, what work would they be doing etc etc etc.

If we didnt have love for our children we would not be feeling like this....dont be hard on yourself my are NORMAL smile

triplets Wed 10-Sep-08 23:10:42

I am so useless atm. Trying to catch up with all the news and see something wonderful has happened!
"Welcome to the world little Mac"
ILTMI......I am so very very happy for you, its just so wonderful to hear such moving, wonderful news, oh I could cry for you with happiness xxxxxxxxxxxxx

To everyone else sorry I have been abit distant, too much going on, and now have a migraine
Hazy.........thinking about you, how are things?
Harry has chemo 5 tomorrow has lost alot of weight again, no appetite, such a roller coaster isn`t it? Sending you lots of love xx

shabster Wed 10-Sep-08 23:12:37

Good to see you here Trips. Sending my love for all of you. Hope H's chemo goes as well as it possibly can. xxxx

shabster Thu 11-Sep-08 07:13:02

Good morning girls. Guess what? Go on guess!


lottiejenkins Thu 11-Sep-08 07:23:11

Morning everyone......My thoughts this morning are with the families of those who died seven years ago in America. sad I will be saying a prayer for them all tonight.

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hazygirl Thu 11-Sep-08 07:31:55

hi trips things are shit atm its granddaughters birthday on 14th,jaydens on 18th and babys 1st on 24th,its up and down,i had a fantastic message last month when i went with dd to see spirtirualist,he knew everything and gave us proof hes here with us,he knew things been done ,nobody knew except me and dh.
fil can have no treatment because of his heart,feel a bit awful because feel we forced him to have his illestomy,dh says how can you give up,jayden never had chance ,and put us through all that againangry
appartently his leakema is not a secondry ,it was working alongside iykwim,but couldnt be seen,but he has cancer in lymphnodes now.
on saturday he got up felt ill so went to bed again never woke up all day,i complained he needed fluid at least,but mil and bil left him for full day,hes diebetic too .anyway fainted three times on sunday,my youngest dd forced him to eat bread and butter,but trips i dont know how much longer .

shabster Thu 11-Sep-08 07:42:44

oh Hazy - am holding you close over the next few weeks xxxxx

Lottie - that was truly a horrible,horrible day - it stays in my mind as though it was just yesterday. I have lovely friends who live in Utah, many miles away from New York. BUT I was convinced they were in the middle of all that. I rang them and was so relieved to hear their voices.

lottiejenkins Thu 11-Sep-08 08:47:31

I remember it vividly Shabs.. It was the first day i had gone shopping on my own since my dh had died. I had bought something for a friend and stopped to drop it off. I remember walking into the room and saying what on earth is this film your watching and she said no it is happening in america today!! couldnt believe it. Was so scared.

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