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1st yr anniversary of sister's death soon ...

(12 Posts)
lovecamping Thu 21-Aug-08 22:05:28

its the first year of my sister's anniversary soon and i'm not sure what to do. i cant go to her grave for various reasons but i need to do something that day.

what can i do??

i've been thinking about her loads recently and have become quite morbid at times .. is it all normal??

FanjolinaJolly Thu 21-Aug-08 22:08:21

Not morbid,you are perfectly normal.

How about lighting a candle? Planting a tree/pretty plant in garden in her memory??

dizzydixies Thu 21-Aug-08 22:09:30

am so sorry for you loss

is there something that you and your sister enjoyed doing together or somewhere you used to enjoy going?

beach/walking/going to see a film/shopping even - it doesn't have to be something special, just something that will make you feel closer to her on that day?

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 21-Aug-08 22:13:52

Do you have photos?

It might be good to look through them, perhaps with family, or DH, and share memories.

I was not strong enough to do this with my dear dad's photos on the first anniversary, but a year or two further down the line it's a lovely thing to do.

Morbid thoughts, 'dwelling' on your loss (even though people expect you to somehow be 'over it' just like that - grrrr) are all part of your healing process.

Would you like to tell us about your sister?

lovecamping Thu 21-Aug-08 22:14:45

i have a couple of orchids in the hse which were her favourite flower .. her house was/is full of them...

i want to write her a letter and then burn it at her grave ... hopefully she'll get it ...

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 21-Aug-08 22:14:47

what did you used to do with her that you enjoyed? a fave film you watched together or tune you liked to dance to?

am also sorry for your loss

lovecamping Thu 21-Aug-08 22:19:06

nothing like that i'm afraid. i didnt really do much with her but her house felt like a second home ... its so hard... crying as i type ...

she was a wonderful person, so much capacity to accept me for who i am and not try to judge me. i think she is also happy that i've landed on my feet as i am considered the black sheep of the family. she accepted me for everything that i am and defended & protected me from my family. Now i feel so different from my family, almost isolated ...

DarrellRivers Thu 21-Aug-08 22:20:31

Sending you my wishes for a peaceful day
I found a day just thinking of my brother was enough, the first year feels so raw still
We plan to get together as a family for his birthday for more of remembrance of his life

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 21-Aug-08 22:26:23

Oh lovecamping she sounds like a wonderful sister.

I am so sorry for your loss.

dustyteddy Thu 21-Aug-08 22:26:42

gosh it's hard, I know. My db died 10 years ago and it still hurts every anniversary. We always visit his grave on the anniversary with special flowers and i spend the rest of the day with my parents.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think sometimes people forget how hard it is for the sisters and brothers left behind.

lovecamping Thu 21-Aug-08 22:44:39

i have no idea what is going on with me. morbid thoughts and generally feeling miserable ...

leesmum Fri 22-Aug-08 08:47:32

lovecamping i'm so sorry you lost your sistersad my dad's 1st anniversary is coming up soon and i too am dreading itsad on his birthday in april we set off some helium balloons in the back garden with little messages attached to them, it was upsetting but it felt like somehow he would get them and know how much we all missed and loved him xxx

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