heartbroken

(101 Posts)
DecafArabica Tue 15-Feb-05 20:27:46

Have just found out I have had a missed m/c whilst in hospital as an in-patient for an asthma attack. Drs have reassured me that the asthma/steroid drugs probably had nothing to do with it, that 1 in whatever pregnancies end in m/c anyway, and at my age there is a much higher m/c risk...
But I just can't get the image out of my mind, of that baby-shaped shadow on the scanner, lying so still. And now I have to walk around with a poor little dead baby inside me until Thursday when I have my operation. I don't think I can bear it. Please, someone tell me how you got through this. I can't stop crying and I want to be strong for DS who's been disrupted enough by me being taken to hospital with the asthma.

OP’s posts: |
ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Tue 15-Feb-05 20:28:36

Hugs to you So sorry to hear your very sad news {{{xxx}}}

vict17 Tue 15-Feb-05 20:29:27

You poor porr thing

motherinferior Tue 15-Feb-05 20:30:04

Oh my love! I am so so sorry. Oh, that's absolutely tragic, I am so sorry, I wish there was something I could say.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hulababy Tue 15-Feb-05 20:30:30

Oh, I am so sorry

Tinker Tue 15-Feb-05 20:31:58

Oh no. Am so sorry about this

bonkerz Tue 15-Feb-05 20:32:03

There are a few of us on this thread

i had a missed mc 3 weeks ago and although im still fragile it has got easier. So sorry about your news but have a read of the thread and i hope it will help knowing we have all been through it and can offer you support. I know the thread has really helped me.

((((HUGS)))))

Whizzz Tue 15-Feb-05 20:32:40

So sorry to hear your sad news. I'm struggling to think what more I could say

anorak Tue 15-Feb-05 20:33:24

So sorry to hear your news. xxx

marthamoo Tue 15-Feb-05 20:33:32

I am so very, very sorry.

I think a missed miscarriage is particularly hard because you have no warning - I miscarried but mine was complete, so I knew in my heart it was over before I went for a scan.

Miscarriages are so dreadfully common - and I'm sure the doctors are right that your asthma medication had nothing to do with it - but that doesn't make it any easier. You don't have to be strong, you can and must cry. Is there anyone who can help you out with ds - up to and after Thursday because you will need to rest after a D&C.

Oh I do know how you feel and how hard it is - you have to give yourself time to grieve for your baby. You will never forget, but it will, in time, become more bearable. I really am so sorry (((HUGS)))

beansontoast Tue 15-Feb-05 20:34:00


lots of hugs
very very sad xxx

sophie10 Tue 15-Feb-05 20:34:08

My thoughts are with you

Flossam Tue 15-Feb-05 20:39:22

Oh, poor you. I remember your bonkerz thread. How sad. I hope everything goes as well as it can on Thurs, and that you have a speedy recovery. Not knowing what you had, but I do know that most if not all athsma meds are safe for use in pregnancy, so not likely to be the cause, I had athsma during preg and worked with a leading resp consultant. Please keep posting and let us know how you are.

Flossam Tue 15-Feb-05 20:39:56

Sorry, 43 and bonkers not you bonkerz.

Yorkiegirl Tue 15-Feb-05 20:40:04

Message withdrawn

Wills Tue 15-Feb-05 20:40:27

Oh honey I'm so sorry. I've had two m/cs now so I know how you feel. But I wanted to reassure you about the asthma side of things as well. During my third pregnancy I had a massive asthma attack during which I was pumped full of drugs all the while saying, what about the baby and being responded to "we're saving your life we're not concerned about the baby". Eventually some one with a little more intelligence worked out that if they could tell me baby was ok it would calm me down. I ended up in hospital for 2.5 weeks and on steriods for months after. Happily Lotte is now 18 months. I've gone on to have another miscarriage but I've never associated asthma and the drugs that they have to give with the possibility of miscarriage. So honey when you're over this awful awful agonising grief don't be afraid of asthma during another pregnancy.

All my best honey and I wish I could give you a massive hug because you really need it at this moment. As for being strong, I don't know how old your DS is but trust me its not a bad thing for him to know that adults and mummys cry too when they hurt.

DecafArabica Tue 15-Feb-05 21:00:29

thanks for all your messages. I just read through them with DH by my side and it really, really, helps to know there's people out there who've been through this--and especially those of you who've had asthma too and had healthy babies. I think there's a part of me that wants a logical, definite explanation, such as, it was the breathing problems, or it was the steroids. But, I may have to accept that it was something I shall never know.

OP’s posts: |
ionesmum Tue 15-Feb-05 21:08:41

Oh how sad.

hoxtonchick Tue 15-Feb-05 21:37:32

really sad for your arabica xxxx

Wills Tue 15-Feb-05 21:42:03

Personally I've always found that the hardest bit to cope with - the unknown reason

DecafArabica Wed 16-Feb-05 09:45:47

I'm so glad I can post on here and share what I am feeling because I can't talk about it in RL without dissolving into floods of tears--have told friends to email or text rather than ring. Will I ever get the image of that scan out of my head?

OP’s posts: |
Twiglett Wed 16-Feb-05 09:58:07

Oh Arabica

I am so sorry darling

Twiglett Wed 16-Feb-05 09:59:17

It really is NOTHING to do with the asthma .. I had it during last pregnancy and was on prednisolone .. there is NOTHING you could have done to prevent this

it is just so incredibly

Angeliz Wed 16-Feb-05 10:03:06

I'm so sorry to hear your news+++

DecafArabica Wed 16-Feb-05 10:07:13

Thanks Twiglett, I know you are right. After all, I've had asthma for years, and I had a healthy preg with DS. I'm feeling so many irrational things, like I should have gone to A&E much earlier and demanded stronger dose of prednisolone thn GP originally gave. And I could also tell that my body was straining for breath for so long (I had bronchitis 4 weeks), it must have been incredibly hard for it to try and make a baby at the same time...perhaps if it had happened in 2nd trimester I might have had more luck. And, I know it is irrational but I also feel like I was stupid and self-indulgent for wanting another baby at my age (43).

OP’s posts: |

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