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Too upset to think of a thread title

(53 Posts)
ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:22:56

but have just got back from the hospital where a relative died a few hours ago. I was with him at the end and it has reignited all sorts of feelings from when my Dad died several years ago. As a result I am in a bit of a state and can't seem to calm down.

Is anyone free to chat?

wrinklytum Tue 05-Aug-08 23:24:47

Chat away.You poor thing.

jonamum Tue 05-Aug-08 23:25:56

Im here and listening. So sorry

Evenstar Tue 05-Aug-08 23:26:13

I'm here too, so sorry for your loss, was it a very close relative?sad

cluelessnchaos Tue 05-Aug-08 23:26:46

me too,

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:29:30

My stepdad.

It was so awful, and I tried so hard to be strong for the rest of my family but have got home alone and just lost it

shirleyghostman Tue 05-Aug-08 23:29:31

I am here, shite isn't it?

TotalChaos Tue 05-Aug-08 23:31:01

very sorry your stepdad has died.

Evenstar Tue 05-Aug-08 23:31:06

It's all right to lose it now, you have been strong for everyone else now you need to cry, I will be here for a while if you feel like talking.

shirleyghostman Tue 05-Aug-08 23:31:27

Did you know he was ill?

AbstractMouse Tue 05-Aug-08 23:31:34

Oh it's just awful, did my head in. So sorry for your current and previous loss. Do you have anyone with you?

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:32:16

Thank you.

I am usually the coper, the sorter-outer for everyone else. I need to try and get myself together enough to be that for them all tomorrow.

This is really, really shit

AbstractMouse Tue 05-Aug-08 23:33:48

Can you try to get some sleep? Or are you you too adrenaline filled.

Thelighthousekeeper Tue 05-Aug-08 23:35:25

I'm so sorry your Stepdad has died. Thinking of you.

cluelessnchaos Tue 05-Aug-08 23:35:30

Thats the trouble with being the coper though, it takes a lot of bloody energy and you need someone at some point just to say, are you ok, you will be ok, but you need to get it allout.

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:35:43

I feel so sick to my stomach and have an awful headache the thought of sleep is unlikely but I should try soon I suppose.

I need to be able to function tomorrow. So much to do

cluelessnchaos Tue 05-Aug-08 23:36:09

Do you want to talk about what happened there tonight?

Evenstar Tue 05-Aug-08 23:38:49

Is someone with you? Could they make you a cup of tea and sit with you?

NorthernLurker Tue 05-Aug-08 23:39:07

I'm so sorry for your loss sad

Can I make a practical suggestion? If you are trying to sleep it may help to have a radio on low in the background. Speech works better than music ime so try Radio 4 or 5. It gives you brain something to do and can help you to switch off.

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:41:13

I am on my own.

I thought it better I came home, being honest I knew I needed to just lose it. Was hoping I could get it out of my system, then sort myself out and be in my normal coping, helpful doing mode tomorrow

Not the best of plans it seems.

He just looked so, so sick and ill yet the end when it came was ok, as in peaceful.

We really weren't expecting this so its come as a bit of a shock.

Evenstar Tue 05-Aug-08 23:41:46

My iPod on low helps me to sleep. Please don't feel that you must shoulder this for everyone, even copers sometimes need a helping hand themselves.

thumbwitch Tue 05-Aug-08 23:42:15

so sorry for your loss, just dreadful for you. I would recommend rescue remedy but it's a bit late to be trying to get hold of some unless you have an openminded 24hr pharmacy near you - it works really well for reducing shock and upset feelings - Dad and I used it to good effect last year when Mum died. At least it will help you to sleep and bring back some balance.

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:42:39

Thank you all by the way.

I almost didnt post this but none of my msn contacts were online at the time and I really needed to talk.

This is helping me a lot.

Evenstar Tue 05-Aug-08 23:44:23

Second the Rescue Remedy if you have any in the house, perhaps a milky drink if you can face it. I am sorry you don't have anyone there, but we are all here for you.

ShinyPinkShoes Tue 05-Aug-08 23:44:57

I do have some recue remedy actually.

I also have gin but maybe thats not such a god idea

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