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meeting people after loosing my mum

(5 Posts)
hibbert Fri 11-Jul-08 12:39:28

lost mum three weeks ago and i am still meeting people who dont know about it and ask me or my dad how mum is, i know they mean well and must feel awful when we tell them but dad was doing a little better this morning and then we met an old family neighbour from years ago and when we told him, he started crying which set my dad off which set me off, its so hard isnt it.
you feel a little stronger then something so simple knocks you off your feet again
xxx

sfxmum Fri 11-Jul-08 12:41:46

I am sorry for your loss

3 wks is not a long time and grieving needs to happen. I found that it was easier when people talked about the loss rather than avoid you or ignore the subject, that is far more hurtful

hug to you

fluffyanimal Fri 11-Jul-08 12:44:39

Sorry to hear about your loss, hibbert. The positive thing is that your old family friend obviously cared about your mum and really feels your grief - although it's painful, it's comforting to know that others feel with you. Don't think of it as a setback but as a natural part of the grieving process. I think the strength is in allowing your grief to come to the fore from time to time.

Thinking of you.

RubyRioja Fri 11-Jul-08 12:46:05

Such early days, I would try not to be brave and cry when you, or your Dad needs to. I think the thing that helped me cope was letting it out, no matter how un-English.

Very sorry for your loss

MaryAnnSingleton Fri 11-Jul-08 12:47:52

v sorry to hear of your mum's deathsad - I think it's all part of the process of grieving and coming to terms with the death of a loved one..painful thought it is. I had a brother who died when a child and I couldn't cope with other people's reactiobs/expressions of sorrow etc so I begged my mum not to tell anyone at school (the teachers must've known I would think)...this meant I could carry on as normal which was my way of coping. It has meant that I deferred my grieving until I was a lot older and caused various problems but one of the most difficult things I still find is to say - yes,I'm one of three children but my middle brother died, when people ask...I do sympathise and send the best to you and your dad

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