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Is it ok to take 4 yr old dd to an internment

(6 Posts)
tottie218 Tue 08-Jul-08 20:11:39

My mum died two months ago, and on Saturday we are interring her ashes at our local church. my dd (almost 4) didn't go to the funeral but would it be ok to take her to the service to inter her ashes? she knows that nana has died and is in the sky. We plan to release balloons to her at the end, not sure how she will react to everyone being upset.

auntymandy Tue 08-Jul-08 21:44:26

this is entirely up to you. but I would.
she understands and if you talk to her about it. explain some people might cry. ask her if she wants to send nana a balloon.
hugs to you

iBundle Tue 08-Jul-08 21:46:37

i would say this is absolutely fine. my girls went to my dad's funeral and cremation (when they were 3 and 6) and I'm really glad that's why I decided to do.

they also came with us to the park where my mum and dad met, where we scattered his ashes, surreptitiously, a few months later. they actually did some of the scattering ... smile

onlytheone Wed 09-Jul-08 22:15:22

I think it would be fine. You may need to explain if you haven't already, what happens to a body after death. Definitely explain that people will be upset and that it is normal. My DD did not go the Dad's funeral but I will include her at a memorial or whatever we do with the ashes.

tottie218 Thu 10-Jul-08 20:11:04

thanks everyone. I think she will be ok I have explained as much as i can and she is going to choose a balloon tomorrow. She has also drawn nana a picture which we will also be taking along. At the moment I have not explained about the ashes part, i have told her the same as my sister has told her ds, that the box holds nana's special things, and that we are going to say goodbye to her. Apparently it is not a long service.

MsDemeanor Thu 10-Jul-08 20:13:40

Yes, too our three to their grandmother's funeral/cremation. The three year old and the six year old were fine and actually amazingly well behaved.
Mind you the three year old saw a room where you can view a coffin (sort of alcove with purple velvet throw and red curtains with a cross above) and said, in awe, 'A princess bed! With a princes's sword up there!'
Which made everything much better for a minute.

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