Forgive me if I ramble, it's very hard to put my feelings into words.
I lost my grandfather a couple of weeks ago. I can tell by reactions from some of my friends and distant family that I should be 'getting over it', but it's not so simple. He was more of a dad to me than my own dad, he wouldn't be hurt to hear me say that as he knows it is true. Some of my cousins went out clubbing after the wake which I thought horribly disrespectful, but they were not so close to him, and everyone handles things their own way. He would have probably approved anyway, he loved a good party.
It's just the strangest feeling. I can be having fun with the DC, then catch myself and wonder why I'm laughing. Then in the next breath think, I have to carry on and he wouldn't want me to be sad.
The smallest thing makes me well up, yesterday I heard the first song played at his wake on the radio and dissolved. This morning I was taking the DC to nursery and a funeral procession passed. I stopped and bowed my head and wept, no doubt anyone passing thought I was crazy.
It's harder as I'm pretty far away from my family. I want to be there for my nan but I cant.
Is this a normal experience after bereavement?
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Bereavement
When is it okay for life to carry on?
19 replies
StrictMachine · 18/06/2008 11:31
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