I went for first session of counselling today. Felt a bit awkward. Is this normal?

(31 Posts)
Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:20:25

That's it really. It might be because I was a nurse up until a few years ago and so used to being the listener, but I found it difficult.

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scorpio1 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:21:14

it is weird, yes. Gets better the next time you see them because they are now familiar iyswim .

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:29:26

Thanks. I met her for half an hour last week but that was to talk about what I wanted to get out of the sessions, IYSWIM.

Felt odd today. I sat down and felt odd like I didn't know what she expected me to do.

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scorpio1 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:30:06

i know, and sometimes you don't know if you are saying the right thing iyswim, but just let the words flow.

ladytophamhatt Fri 11-Apr-08 19:33:41

I would imagine ALOT of people feel like that to start with bubble.
I've never had councelling but I expect thats completely normal....

I hope it feels better soon.


Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:35:03

I suppose I need to get used to the idea that the room is a safe place to let it all out.

I do feel like a can of worms, tbh - and I think I'm a bit scared to open the lid.

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francagoestohollywood Fri 11-Apr-08 19:35:50

Do you feel that you feel odd because you are scared or becuase you don't feel comfortable with her as a person? (sorry if I'm getting totally wrong)

francagoestohollywood Fri 11-Apr-08 19:36:20

sorry x posted

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:37:06

Thanks, LTH.

I think I've got that usually crap but sometimes helpful stiff upper lip thing.

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windygalestoday Fri 11-Apr-08 19:39:18

my dh saw a counsellor after he lost his own mum he felt v awkward talking about it too.

I dont know your circumstnces but i wonder if being a nurse has made you shrink back from your own problems and hold them in? and i expect youve seen many many sad things that just build up and make what is already a dreadful situation totally horrendous?I hope it works out for you .

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:39:46

I'm scared of what may come out. I feel that she's the right counsellor for me. She has children, albeit grown up (that was important to me.) It's just the opening up thing I feel strange about.

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ChocolateRockingHorse Fri 11-Apr-08 19:41:02

Bubble I think that's normal at this stage but you do need to feel you can develop something of a rapport with the counsellor and sometimes this won't be with the first one you see. Counselling is, by it's nature, uncomfortable because it makes you dig and delve into your innermost thoughts in order to resolve them. I used to sit and shake like a leaf, sometimes, no idea why.. just a reaction. Always felt better afterwards, if a little "spacey and stirred up" for want of a better description!

And if you were a "nurse who listened" you were a hell of a lot better than most, who seem to not have the time or inclination, or either! I watch Casualty sometimes and think it's so unreal because the nurses actually seem to care/have time to ask/find out what is bothering their patients, other than the obvious illness or ijury!

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 19:49:36

I worked for a few years as a Marie Curie nurse, looking after people who were dying at home - so I think that's why it feels strange to be on the other side.

You're right. I suppose I just need time to feel 'safe' with her.

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ladytophamhatt Fri 11-Apr-08 19:53:54

Silly me, at the hope it feels better soon thing.

I hope you know waht I mean..I know it won't feel better but I hope it ...

Oh bugger...I'm so rubbish at thes words.

I'm sure the conselling will get better and I hope at the end of it you come away feeling that you got as much from it as you need.

I'll give you a very rare LTH {{{HUG}}}.

Mhamai Fri 11-Apr-08 19:58:29

Bubble99 it will take time to build a realtionship with your counsellor but always trust your gut instincts, you have said you feel ok with this counsellor so trust your intuition. A therapeutic relationship is indeed different from other relationships.

It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. If it's any comfort, your feelings are paramount so regardless of how you feel, they are your feelings.

Good luck with your counselling btw.

francagoestohollywood Fri 11-Apr-08 20:10:08

Bubble, the fact that you already feel comfortable with your counsellor is already a good start. I really hope you'll get all you wish from this.
It is scary having to unveil your feelings and let everything out. I have started seeing a therapist and I started feeling "cool' etc. Yesterday I had to fight back the tears.
(and great admiration from me for having been a Marie Curie nurse)

Mhamai Fri 11-Apr-08 20:18:38

Also I'm a trainee psychotherapist and after three years of therapy I still manage to squirm sometimes. That's supposed to make you feel better btw. smile

It will get easier.
I also feel that because of your own natural incline towards being empathic will help you greatly in your counselling, although it may not feel like it to begin with.

Again best of luck.

windygalestoday Fri 11-Apr-08 20:27:31

bubble we had a lot of support from the marie curie nurses -you have my respect,it takes a very special person to take the burden the marie curie nurses bear.

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 20:39:19

Thanks all.

I enjoyed my time with Marie Curie. I had to leave because my dad was dying and it all felt too close to home. That or Mac nursing is something I'd like to go back to at some point in the future.

I'm pleased to hear that the feeling awkward thing is not uncommon. I told the counsellor in a very clinical way the things/feelings that I want to get sorted out but I now have to go back and spill them. Some and probably most of the stuff relates to Bo's death but there is other stuff from my childhood and I know it will be messy. That's what I'm feeling uncomfortable with -laying it all out.

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Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 20:40:30

Just re-read. Enjoyed is the wrong word. I found Marie Curie work very rewarding.

That's better.

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windygalestoday Fri 11-Apr-08 20:41:51

bubble im not being nosey (well not deliberately so) is bo your daughter??

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 20:45:44

My son. He was a healthy, full-term twin who died during a medically negligent labour.

That's what hurts so much - that he shouldn't and wouldn't have died if people had done their jobs even half properly.

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WendyWeber Fri 11-Apr-08 20:48:01

Oh, Bubble sad - hope the counselling will help you.

How is Mr Bubble?

Bubble99 Fri 11-Apr-08 20:49:31

He's OK. Sad that I'm sad IYSWIM. He 'digests' things better than me.

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windygalestoday Fri 11-Apr-08 20:50:26

bubble i have ptsd (apparently) due to losing my mum at a young age 11 and a bad period after that then my ds1 was born overdue and he wasnt brething he was 0 on his pgr he was in scbu and they thought he had brain damage and cp we were told he wouldnt survive the next 12 hours he did and im so very grateful hes healthy handsome 14 yr old but i still could cry at how thise lovely dys were stolen in a mix of incubators and heart monitors so i can totally understand your anguish,im sorry that happened to you.

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