Can any one provide some advice re someone else's pregnancy/termination dilemma

[MrsWobble]

Hi - I am posting this hoping someone can give me some advice. I don't want to upset anyone so please forgive me if I do.

My nanny is pregnant with an unexpected but very much wanted second child. She found out this week that it has spina bifida. I have told her that I do not expect her in work next week - she has got to make some terrible decisions and needs space and time.

However, when should I expect her to return? I can't imagine this is something you get over quickly and would guess that in many ways it's life changing. I want to be as kind and helpful as I can be - she is a valued nanny - but at the same time I can't give her indefinate paid leave and will need to recruit a temporary replacement if she wants to take much time off.

I am hoping that you might be able to give me some ideas as to timings etc. I do not plan to even mention any of this before she has made her decision but I do need to sort out some sort of contingency plan as I do need to go to work myself. If she does have a termination how long do you think it takes before some sort of normality returns and she might want to come back to work?

Thank you all for your help and I'm very sorry if I'm asking personal questions or dragging up painful memories. I'm aware of how awful a time this is for my nanny and want to avoid making it any worse if I can possibly help it.

[flowerybeanbag]

I had a month off, then went back part time for a week or so. I was advised by doctor and midwife that I had to take at least a fortnight to physically recover from the induction/labour etc apart from anything else, plus obviously emotionally needed time away.

My leave was all paid, but it was a company (well, a charity) I was working for and my team pulled together and managed to cover my work so no need to fork out for a temp or anything.

[MrsWobble]

thanks fbb - that's very helpful.

[IndigoMoon]

it might depend on how far gone she is as i think if it is late on in pregnancy then maternity leave can click in???? i may well be wrong though.

terrible shame

[IndigoMoon]

money.uk.msn.com/guides/raising-a-family/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4754502

i am not sure how it applies in this situation.

[soapbox]

Indigo is right, I think. I seem to recall that a still birth after 23 weeks triggered a right to maternity leave.

I think TBH the decision will probably be taken out of your hands in that her doctor will provide sick notes for her until she is seen as being fit (physically and emotionally) to return to work.

I have used Tinies for temporary nanny care and found them to be excellent, just in case you need to find someone!

[flowerybeanbag]

It's after 24th week maternity leave kicks in, before 24th week it's counted as a miscarriage, after it's a stillbirth.