My Mum died in November from breast cancer, and as of yet I still cant decide what to do with her ashes.
My Dads are scattered over the plot that contains my grandparents ashes. My Mum's parents' ashes were scattered after they died, but unfortunately I dont know where. Im an only child so the decision about her ashes is down to me.
She told a her best friend and my DH many times that she would like them scattered outside her favourite bar in Turkey (where I used to live with DH as he is Turkish). Now I know that I should respect her wishes, yet the thought of scattering them, and being the final part of my Mum washed away in the sea almost breaks my heart.
DH suggested a plot especially for Mum over here with her own headstone, but we are planning to move back to Turkey within a couple of years and the thought of 'Mum' being here all on her own again upsets me.
We cant bury the ashes in Turkey as cremation isnt practised with it being a predominantly Muslim country. I suggested to have the ashes in the house, but I often think I might get a little uncomfortable about it.
Her ashes are still with the funeral director, but I was slightly put out by a comment made when I called the other month about something, and I was told "You can come and collect your Mum anytime you like"- not really the words I would have used to someone.
My problem is Im too emotional. I lost my Dad at 16, and my Mum at 23. I know deep inside those ashes arent really my Mum, but I feel its the closest Ill ever get to her, and so I want to make the right decision.
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4 replies
chinchi · 28/02/2008 16:15
OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby ·
28/02/2008 18:04
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