A very close friend of mine has just lost her nephew (he was 3 days old). I'm not sure of the circumstances, but I have a feeling it was because of feeding problems, although I can't be sure. I'm not even totally sure how my friend is doing. I received a text from her telling me the news, so I offered to do whatever I could, such as babysitting for her DCs if she needed to be with her sister. I know this is really all I can do, offer to help in practical ways but after everything she has done for me lately, I feel a bit useless.
I don't want to ring, in case she is busy with her sister or is too upset to talk so was thinking of sending her another text to make sure she is ok, as well as her sister's family.
I know it sounds bad, but I am also a bit reluctant to speak to her, because it makes the whole thing real. Another very good friend of mine lost her little girl at 11 days old last year and it will soon be her birthday. Now this little boy. I am not usually superstitious, but I can't help thinking that these things happen in threes and that maybe I will be next. My little boy is due in May so will be the next baby to be born. I know it is an irrational fear, but I am getting really stressed about it and I feel like it is stopping me being really helpful to my friend and her family. If I don't feel my baby move, I panic anyway but because of this news, I'm even more stressy than usual.
There is also the added thing of the funeral. I would like to go if possible because I get on well with the family and feel that by being there, I am showing I want to help and support them all, but I am worried about how my friend's sister will feel. She knows about my boy and I don't want to make her feel any worse than she already will be. I have said I will babysit the DCs for my friend so she can go so will have to wait and see.
Should I get a card or not? I don't want to seem like I am in their faces but I do want them to know I am here and will do whatever I can.
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What to do for friends?
19 replies
Lazylou · 18/02/2008 09:20
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