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Bereavement

Am I being silly??

9 replies

marge2 · 13/02/2008 14:22

I expect I am all hormonal or something but had a really wobbly moment today! My beloved Dad died just over 11 years ago, which is ages and yet still just yesterday.

My DSs go to the same primary school that I did when I was a child 30 + years ago which I loved and where I was very happy. I had a very happy childhood and love my parents to the ends of the earth. This lunchtime I walked through the playground to get DS2 from the pre-school and walked past a big old tree that was there when I was little and has a very strong and distinctive nice smell. I have no idea what kind of tree it is but I don't know of any others anywhere. It being a warm day it was smelling very strongly and it reminded me so much of when I was little in that same playground - It took me straight back to a happy safe and carefree time without any of todays problems and fears and just suddenly got a catch in my throat and found my self sobbing my eyes out for my Dad. I had to go in and get Ds2 as it was picking up time and the other Mums were already coming out so I had to go in with wet, red eyes. The teachers must think I am nuts.

Does anyone else do this is or it me just being an emotional nutcase??

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sparkybabe · 13/02/2008 17:58

Smells are very evocative - they can evoke memories from years ago, as you have just found out! That's why they try to bring in different smells to coma-patients, it's the last sense to be 'shut down', after hearing, even.
Don't think you're nuts, just that you are low. Maybe its the time of year/hormones/financial worries/something else, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Hope you are feeling better now.

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TimeForMe · 13/02/2008 17:59

Well I don't think you are being silly, not at all. I think it's lovely that you are so in touch with your emotions and how the smell of that tree can take you back to such a safe, nice time of your life.

I find myself highly emotional around the anniversary of my lovely dads passing, he has been gone almost 13 years now and it feels like yesterday. When I am in that emotional state I find myself seeking out smells and surroundings that remind me of him. But, after an emotional outburst, so to speak, I do feel so much 'lighter'.

HTH

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Kimiheartsandflowers · 13/02/2008 18:07

Not silly at all, my dad died 25years ago and old spice still gets me every time

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mom2latinoboys · 13/02/2008 18:45

Not being silly. whenever I smell basil I think of my grandmothers garden. I don't really buy it too much, but at the grocery store I stop and smell it all the time.

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dippydeedoo · 13/02/2008 18:58

not at all hun ....i lost my own mum almost 22 years ago and i the smell of a certain estee lauder perfume really sets me of...((hugs4u))

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nickytwotimes · 13/02/2008 18:59

Absolutely agree with the other posters. My dear old Dad died nearly 3 years ago and it is still very raw at times. like others have said, smell is so evocative and seems to tap right into those old memories and emotions. It is also a sh** time of year which doesn't help. Sometimes it is "nice" to have a good cry - quite cathartic, iykwim?

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marge2 · 14/02/2008 12:19

Thanks to you all,

I often have a good old cry in private when I think about my Dad. Just not usually in front of loads of teachers, Mums and kids.

I do have a few worries at the moment, so that sudden evocation of carefree times especially when my Dad was around was a killer.

My Mum keeps my Dads old 'Marbert Man' after shave. I can't smell it without howling!

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lucyellensmum · 14/02/2008 12:38

marge2 your post made me cry - i know exactly what you mean. I yearn for the times when my dad would pick me up after school (he worked shifts and always made sure he picked me up whenever he could). To see him standing at the school gates was just wonderful. PRetty much, i knew there would be something in his pocket for me too It is funny how these things bring everything back.

I was in the cemetary on monday, just for a visit, it feels a bit pointless sometimes, but you do it anyway - i read a headstone that said, "No one is gone until they are forgotten". Well i will NEVER forget my lovely wonderful dad EVER - so then he will ALWAYS be with me.

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lulabelle · 18/02/2008 13:14

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