im worried about my Mum.....

(6 Posts)
biglips Thu 22-Nov-07 10:43:07

as her twin sister committed suicide in aug 03, it was very sudden...none of us expected it

Last year we thought she was finally admitting that she was depressed and she dearly missing her twin sister as they were very close. My aunty (mums youngest sister) helped her to get to the docs to get some counselling and to come to terms with her twin sisters death. She never bothered with it as she told me back in the Summer that as long she is happy in her relationship with her boyfriend - she doesnt need it!! hmm...her relationship is ok but she can do better

Since Mum went to the inquest in 2003...she had has never spoken about her twin sister again - like she never existed!

My mum said that her twin was her "guideline" as if mum ever had any probs she goes to her twin sister's for a chat...but now she feels she got noone sad. She havent even been back to her twins house to see her brother-in-law

My mum is lovely and everyone likes her but she is not my mum.

OP’s posts: |
biglips Thu 22-Nov-07 22:48:54

xx

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dd666 Thu 22-Nov-07 22:50:40

bump as im sorry i have no advice or wise words

lilolilmanchester Thu 22-Nov-07 23:05:54

Biglips, this must be so hard for you. It sounds like your Mum is still grieving. 4 years seems like a long time, but it's not that long to come to terms with someone who you've shared your entire life with. (It's 11 years today since my Dad died, and I can honestly say my Mum really only got back to being her old self 3-4 years ago). In addition, the nature of your aunt's death might be a factor. People I know with relatives who have committed suicide struggled with both guilt, for not being able to prevent it, and feelings of being betrayed by their loved ones leaving them. Do you think she would see another bereavement counsellor?

biglips Thu 22-Nov-07 23:11:22

no, as ive tried to tell her that its the best thing for her to do but she just blank it out im afraid

i do hope she will except it one day

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lilolilmanchester Thu 22-Nov-07 23:17:20

I guess she feels like part of her is missing. It's painful seeing our mums not being themselves,isn't it? I truly hope things will get a little easier for her over time. What about putting a call out for a bereavement counsellor in the title of another thread, then link it to this? They might be able to give you some advice based on lots of experience.

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