My dad's dying.

(10 Posts)
HarleyQuinn21 Mon 15-Feb-21 04:01:28

I didn't really know where else to post but I just wanted to write it down and tell someone about this, I guess I'm cheating as he hasn't actually passed away yet and there's always a chance but when the doctor calls you at 3.35am then the odds aren't brilliant. 2021 was supposed to be better, I had my little boy three weeks ago and I should be enjoying being a mum but I can't because four weeks ago my dad got really sick and I've been caring for him and taking him to and from hospital so I've barely seen my little boy, tonight my dad went into hospital again because the doctor said "nature will take its course" if he didn't so off he went with low blood pressure and the doctor's just called me now to say he's being moved to the CCU and the chances are not good and I just don't know what to do, part of me feels like I can't be sad because he's 77 (I'm 26, he was an old dad) because 77 is a good age and he's had a good life bit 8 don't want my dad to go and my poor mum in the last 2 years she's lost her mum and dad and now she's losing her husband and I really don't know what to do, I just feel so helpless and pathetic and I don't want my dad to go.

OP’s posts: |
21growbags Mon 15-Feb-21 04:09:31

So sorry to hear you’re facing this. I hope you and your mum can support each other.

Congratulations on your new little boy. After I lost my dad I found a photo of him as baby and we had a baby in the family and somehow it helped.

Lovelydovey Mon 15-Feb-21 04:10:23

A brief message just to say you can hear both the love and worry in your message, and I’m virtually holding your hand. Life isn’t fair sometimes xx

Finfintytint Mon 15-Feb-21 04:12:10

Sweetheart, it’s hard isn’t it? Thinking of you. I was in this position with my mum two years ago. You need to focus on your brand new baby and accept what will be will be.

LateMumma Mon 15-Feb-21 04:13:18

I'm so sorry to hear this op. 💐 for you and your Mum

swinglowsweetchariot12 Mon 15-Feb-21 06:59:58

Sorry to hear this.

I'm not going to sugar coat if, loosing a parent is going to be one of the worst pains you will feel.

Nothing anyone says or does will make it better.

Your heart will feel like it's been ripped out and nothing makes sense.

You are right to be prepared for "he was a good age" etc etc but also be prepared for their first reaction to be "was it covid?" Try not to get too annoyed by people saying this, a lot of people don't know how to react or what to say especially if they have t been there before.

However your saving grace is that you have a lovely new life to keep you grounded and focus on.

I lost my mum a month ago, (I too got the 3am call) if I didn't have my little girl I don't know what I would do.

If anyone asks if there is anything they can do, making pre made food or ordering pre made food will be a massive help for both you and your mum.

Be gentle with yourself

Igmum Mon 15-Feb-21 07:19:43

So sorry OP sending hugs and a handhold 💐

terraclutter Mon 15-Feb-21 14:15:28

I'm so sorry you are going through this. We sadly went through this last year with my Dad and then the stress caused my Mum to end up in hospital and she too died a month ago.
It's the worst pain I've ever experienced. I have children and they are what has kept me going.
I hope you can find strength in the coming weeks for you and that your Mum does too. Massive hug.

Ginqueen1 Tue 16-Feb-21 07:34:53

I’m so sorry to hear this op. I like many here know the pain you are in. Sending you love and strength to you and your family x

FreakinFrankNFurter Tue 16-Feb-21 08:05:59

Oh op, I’m sorry you are going through this. You are not pathetic at all. When my Dad was dying when I was almost same age as you (27) I felt just the same overwhelming fear that I didn’t want my Dad to go and the childish thoughts of ‘it’s not fair!’ I imagine everyone who is relatively young feels the same when their parent is dying.

It doesn’t matter that he’s 77, he’s your Dad.

Sending love and strength to you flowers

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