I’m posting to try and get my thoughts and feelings out really, and wondering if anyone else has experienced similar?
So my mum died just over 35 years ago when I was 5, she had just turned 41. Today I’m a day older than she was when she died.... I’m 41 and also have a 5 year old daughter.
I can barely remember my mum, being so young when she died. Just very occasional fleeting memories but nothing concrete. I still had a positive childhood with an amazing dad and very supportive family. I’m fortunate that I’ve grown up to have a happy marriage, wonderful children and a job I love.
Whilst I’ve always been sad that my mum died, when I was little I don’t think I really understood and then when I was older it was just my normal. It really has only begun to affect me strongly in terms of grief since becoming a parent.
I think knowing how devastated I’d be if I found out I was going to die, and not get to see my precious children grow up, has given me so much sadness for how she must have felt. And also looking at my daughter and how much she needs and loves me, I have so much empathy for myself as a child if that makes any sense.
In some ways today, I feel so grateful that I’m here, I’ve survived longer than my mum did and my children have. But I’m also full of sadness for my mum and a bit of me stills fears getting unwell and facing what she had to.
Has anyone else suddenly been hit by grief such a long time after their loss? I don’t think I was expecting it and it’s a bit overwhelming.
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Bereavement
Grief over mum who died 35 years ago
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CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 11/02/2021 14:42
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