My mum is dying of COVID, I am destroyed

(189 Posts)
Bereftmypoormum Sun 17-Jan-21 08:24:37

My darling mum is only 70 and was in good health. She caught the virus in December and has been hospitalised for 5 weeks. She needed pressurised oxygen at the beginning but was then stepped down and they were preparing for discharge in the new year. At that time she still had a lot of COVID lung damage. She then got a secondary bacterial pneumonia and has been ventilated for a few days. She’s not responding, now other organs are failing and it is likely they will withdraw treatment today.

I feel so unbearably sad for her. To have this happen, to be without us all these weeks as we weren’t allowed to visit on the COVID ward. To be getting ready to go home then another week of slow deterioration and then a sepsis. And now she’s going to die.

I saw her the last few days, she’s starting to look like she’s dying, it’s like torture.

Poor teen DD is terribly upset, mum was like a third parent to her. We were so close, I keep seeing mum in her house, or walking around the town with me, our favourite coffee shops, and then think I’ll never be able to do any of that with her again. She was the person I’d call with good or bad news, my true friend. DH and DD are wonderful but how will I cope without her?

OP’s posts: |
Mumdiva99 Sun 17-Jan-21 08:27:04

So so sorry you are going through this. It must be the most terrible thing ever. Please use this thread to say anything you wish.

Will you be able to be with your mum today?

leafygarden42 Sun 17-Jan-21 08:27:15


So sorry you're going through this. Hugs for you and your Mum

QuantumQuality Sun 17-Jan-21 08:28:59

I’m so sorryflowers

Dontjudgeme101 Sun 17-Jan-21 08:29:37

So sorry for you. 💐

orville81 Sun 17-Jan-21 08:29:53

I am so sorry for you all xx

LickYouLikeACrispPacket Sun 17-Jan-21 08:31:14

I am so so sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine how hard this is for. The thought of losing my mum makes my blood run cold. Sending strength to you and your family. I am a nurse and I’m sure she will be getting the best of care and they will do their best to make her comfortable. ♥️

Doyouwantanothercuppa Sun 17-Jan-21 08:31:28

Your heart must be breaking xxx

Meme69 Sun 17-Jan-21 08:32:33

I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't really have anything to say that will make you feel any better, as nothing can right now, but know I hear you, I feel how in pain you are, and you need to keep talking. It's OK to not be ok

Londonnight Sun 17-Jan-21 08:33:45

I am very sorry to hear this. Lots of love x

AllegedlyChaos Sun 17-Jan-21 08:37:03

I am so sorry.

LemonDrizzles Sun 17-Jan-21 08:38:25

Sending you my warmest thoughts and virtual hugs. Sorry about what you and your family are going through. xx

Fizbosshoes Sun 17-Jan-21 08:39:02

I'm so sorry , its heartbreaking. It must be truly awful to have your hopes raised and then for her to deteriorate.
I lost my DM to something similar 10 years ago so I feel your pain x

Logoplanter Sun 17-Jan-21 08:39:05

So, so sorry. My heart goes out to you ❤️💐

LillethCrane Sun 17-Jan-21 08:39:24

I’m so sorry to read this, I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you flowers

Alexandernevermind Sun 17-Jan-21 08:40:12

Sending you and your family my very best wishes. flowers

Bereftmypoormum Sun 17-Jan-21 08:42:29

Thank you. I’ll be with her. DD saw her yesterday and we hugged her and held her hands. I’m in two minds whether DD should come today, I feel she shouldn’t but will leave it up to her.

It’s been complicated as the ward were slow to respond to her second deterioration, despite me calling on several occasions to say I was concerned. Poor out of hours medical cover mainly. So I also feel she was let down, not sure if it would have made any difference to her eventual outcome but i feel so guilty about that. I emailed pals on two occasions, but should have tried to move her.

She is such a good person, she didn’t deserve such a cruel end to her life. I just can’t see how I’m going to continue without her.

OP’s posts: |
Catawaul Sun 17-Jan-21 08:42:31

So sad for you. Hope you can be with her today.

Hailtomyteeth Sun 17-Jan-21 08:43:09

Thinking of you. flowers

BlueSkyAhead Sun 17-Jan-21 08:44:59


Stellabellawella Sun 17-Jan-21 08:51:00

Sending you and your family hugs and strength op. I lost my mum in September last year to cancer. She was only 65 and was 2 weeks into her retirement when we got the diagnoses. Her treatment was stopped due to covid. It is the hardest thing you will ever have to go through, as like you, my mum was also my true best friend. Be strong and keep posting if it helps flowers

bearlyactive Sun 17-Jan-21 08:54:19

I'm so sorry flowers

Glitterinthegrey Sun 17-Jan-21 08:56:23

I'm so sorry 💐

Newyorkmorning Sun 17-Jan-21 08:58:37

So very very sorry to hear this

Bereftmypoormum Sun 17-Jan-21 08:58:51

It’s all the small things as well. I know they’re terribly busy but mums hair was thick with grease and she’d had to cut her own nails and hadn’t had the energy to do it. The nurses told her they weren’t allowed to. How messed up is that? All the things that loved ones would have helped with if we’d been able to visit. I dropped her lots of things while she was in there and went to collect them yesterday. Most were unopened where she hadn’t the strength. My poor mum.

OP’s posts: |

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