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I HAVE A DILEMMA, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

5 replies

lissiethevampireslayer · 12/10/2007 10:28

I'm going over to my mums house today, she lives in the same town as my best friend from school (i moved out of home at 14 and in with J and her family) J has just had her first baby. on the EDD of my ectopic pregnancy to be precise, and i dont know whether to visit her or not. she knows about the ep and my 5 other mc's, and i dont want her to feel uncomfortable. and ive coped quite well with my EDD, but im worried about seeing her tiny baby, when i dont have one of my own to look forward to. however i would like to see her, we were very close. should i visit or just send a card

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littlelapin · 12/10/2007 10:31

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lissiethevampireslayer · 12/10/2007 10:39

thanks for answering. i dont want her to feel uncomfortable either. she is the only person (apart from dh) who remembered what the 1st was...

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lemonaid · 12/10/2007 10:43

I had a friend due at the same time as me with my first m/c and we went to visit when her baby was 2 weeks old. It was fine (and, coincidentally, I discovered later that day that I was pregnant again, with DS). If you think you're coping well then I would go.

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lulalullabye · 12/10/2007 10:48

i would go, as sometimes stangely enough it can be a kind of healing experience. sounds odd but you might get morw
e than you think out of it.

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NoNameToday · 12/10/2007 12:04

Hi lissiethevampiresalayer,

My sister was pregnant at the same time as me twice, due just a few weeks later.

I lost both my babies at term and I know that she felt very uncomfortable.

I tried hard and hope I succeeded in not spoiling her pleasure in her babies.

My best friend was due 8 weeks after I lost my second and when I came home from hospital, her father 'made' her come and visit. He was such a lovely wise man, told her, that is what true friendship is about,supporting through the good and bad times.

Yes, I was envious that they then had live babies, but never was I jealous or resentful.

Just relieved that people I loved didn't suffer as I did.

You are her friend and she will be upset and hurt if you feel you can't see her baby.

Hope that helps and sorry for the long post

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