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mc 13 weeks ago

6 replies

franfoxy2003 · 04/10/2007 22:35

hi i had a miscarriage 13 weeks ago was 11weeks+5. was devastated and still am. didnt get offered any sort of support after it happened.

started bleeding on the sunday and went straight to hospital which is 3 mins away. told me they "thought" it was a threatened miscarriage. booked me in for emergency scan 4 days later.

by lunch time on the monday i was in agony...what felt like contractions. walked to hospital and just as i got there i lost loadsa blood. they examined me internally and said they still werent sure if it was a mc even though i had started to pass clots.

sent me home. 2 hours later i passed the baby. went back to hospital and apparently my blood pressure was really low.

had to go for scan 2 days later to make sure!

sorry for my rambling but i cant get over it. took me nearly a month to let my husband near me and was feeling awful. went to doctors and ended up being dianosed with depression. hubby and i are trying again but i feel like im trying to replace the little one we lost even though that certainly aint the case.

still totally devastated bout loosing the baby cos i have had one successful pregnancy before think i was naive a bit and didnt think it would happen to me. still cant get the image of the baby out my head.

any suggestions on what i can do to make myself come to terms with it and try and move on. also i have hardly cried over it cos i feel like i will never stop if i do

blimey that was a long post!!!

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skibump · 05/10/2007 00:08

that you've gone through this. I m/c in late May, but was only about 7wks, so it wasn't anything like as traumatic. Even so, I was given info about the miscarriage association (I'll see what I can find to point you in the right direction), and also there were councellors (sp?) in the early pregnancy unit. Maybe the hospital could help you? I do think this was really badly handled. Why aren't women in this position told what to expect???

I do wonder whether you've given yourself enough time before trying again? It's different for everyone of course, but it's something you need to be happy with

If you want to chat online then I'll be here

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skibump · 05/10/2007 00:09

Try this site

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

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gigglewitch · 05/10/2007 00:20

feel 4u fran. had several mc's, latest was at 13wks. horrible. don't need to say that 2u do i.

it is a lot harder when u have already got a child, it's like you know what you are missing, know the reality of what / who u have lost IYSWIM.

I still can't get some of the images out of my head even tho they were years ago, one of a blank ultrasound screen where there was a baby with heartbeat on the week before; and something similar to u and seeing a distinguishable baby during m/c.
I don't think you ever really get over it, just find some way or other to accommodate it in your head. have no idea how.

don't try to "make yourself come to terms with it" as u say, the more you try the more frustrated u feel. and it's ok to let that grief come out (know what you mean about feeling like you can't cos u will never stop) but it doesn't help keeping it in either.

As understanding as DH/DP may be, somehow they really don't get it. keep posting here and you are amongst friends...virtual as they may be

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keeplaughing · 05/10/2007 00:20

So sorry, it's so hard to lose a baby, lots of hugs

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goingfor3 · 05/10/2007 08:01

I miscarried two babies and it was really hard. The first time was hardest as I was wondering if it would happen everytime, luckily it hasn't and as soon as I got pregnant again the depression I felt after mc lifted. There is nothing you can do to come to terms with what happens it will always be a really creul moment but time really is the best healer and you could ask your gp to refer you to a counsellor. After my first mc I got pregnant again after the baby was due but after my last mc I got pregnant 2 months after I mc'ed him and I do feel like this baby is invading my other babies space because it shouldn't be here my other one should.

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franfoxy2003 · 05/10/2007 09:25

thanks everyone. i too agree it was handled wrong cos i wasnt told what to expect nothing and was sent home even though i was bleeding alot.

i too can see the empty scan screen and it was done the same day i should of had my 12 week scan so that didnt make it any easier. the fact that when i went for that scan i was surrounded by pregnant women coming out from scans smiling at scan photo's really upset me and i think the hospital wasn very sympathetic by doing this.

wish it had been handled better but there isnt anything i can do now.

thanks for all your kind words.
xxx

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