Someone remembered my son today

(22 Posts)
constancereader Sat 01-Sep-07 17:50:56

A few weeks ago I made contact with a friend I hadn't seen for four years. I told her that I had lost a baby due to Patau's at 21 weeks and had gone on to have a son who is now seven months old.

Today in the post I got a card with a present for my ds and some bubbles for him
'to blow up and send to your brother'.

I just thought that this was really lovely - so many people seem to have forgotten that ds is not my first child, it was brilliant that someone remembered my oldest. In such a nice way too!

OP’s posts: |
NAB3 Sat 01-Sep-07 17:52:21

That is so lovely.
I am sorry for your loss

Jas Sat 01-Sep-07 17:52:53

That is lovelysmile

flamingtoaster Sat 01-Sep-07 18:07:07

Sorry you lost your first son - what a thoughtful friend you have!

Emzy5 Sat 01-Sep-07 18:12:11

that brought a tear to my eyes. so sorry for your loss.

what a great way to involve your other son

Pinkchampagne Sat 01-Sep-07 18:14:34

Oh that is

cornsilk Sat 01-Sep-07 18:16:26

That's lovelysmile

flightattendant Sat 01-Sep-07 18:40:07


how beautiful

constancereader Sat 01-Sep-07 18:45:04

smile it really touched me, and made me think of him, but in a nice remembering way. Without feeling too sad..

It will be a good way to tell my other son about his older brother too. xx

OP’s posts: |
Hurlyburly Sat 01-Sep-07 18:49:31


Overrun Sat 01-Sep-07 18:56:45

What a nice friend, I am sure that many people don't mention your oldest out of a desire not to upset you, but I know from talking to friends who have suffered losses that they usually prefer that people remember all their children

hazygirl Sat 01-Sep-07 21:30:18

what a lovely thought,so many people dont want to remember ,it is nine months today since my grandson died and so many people change the subject when i mention his name

startouchedtrinity Sat 01-Sep-07 21:44:51

What a lovely thought. smile I am so sorry about your ds1 - ds2 is obviously growing up in a family full of love where he will know how special every member of that family is.

ledodgy Sat 01-Sep-07 21:46:11

Oh that's lovely. What a good friend. smile

nachomama Sat 01-Sep-07 22:05:26

Hi Constancereader

I am thinking about your baby now too, and I like the idea your friend had for remembering.

I have been thinking today about a lovely little baby, born not long after my son, who died a year ago today. I have not known what I can do. I know the parents want to celebrate his short life, without getting too heavy about it, iykwim.

anyway, warm thoughts for you all xx

flightattendant Sat 01-Sep-07 23:10:07

Hi Hazy, hope you are Ok xxx

constancereader Sat 01-Sep-07 23:28:02

Yes hazy, how are you doing? Have been thinking about you and your daughter. How is she too?

OP’s posts: |
hazygirl Sun 02-Sep-07 06:19:24

hi its hard at moment its awful cos my dear daughter seems so good, but sometimes i think she forgets hes gone,shes due any day, but i feel so guilty, weve gone and got everything ready for her, alarm is here, so thanks again to mile for maude walkers who help finance these,your wonderful people, im scared of meeting her,i dont want to betry jayden , i love that little man so much ,oh god why did he leave us ,this time last year we were so excited ,twelve months later im a messed up mess,having to take ad to get me through each day, i go to work ok but come home and lay on setteee and sob its only when i have gd its ok, they need happy times,sorry for hi jack and thanks you lot for support i cant do it without youxx

flightattendant Sun 02-Sep-07 06:44:06

Sorry you're having such an awful time, Hazy. I can't imagine coping with the death of a little child. Sadly there seem to be a few on MN who have to sad

All of you, your strength amazes me smile

God bless your little ones.

constancereader Sun 02-Sep-07 07:02:44

Sorry to hear you are down hazygirl. It must be so hard, such an incredible mixture of emotions, all the time.

You won't be betraying Jayden by loving the new baby, he will love his sister too. I have felt a bit like that as well, although our situations are different.


OP’s posts: |
massivebigpantsface Sun 02-Sep-07 07:05:02

constnce that is a really lovely thing to do! Your friend sounds very thoughtful - I'm sure it won't be another four years before you see her!

Hazy - I'm so sorry for your loss too. i can't really find the words...
just that i hope you will find strength from your new grandchild and the rest of your family. There is no betrayal in enjoying and loving the child, Jayden will always be in your hearts and you must take no notice of those people who try and change the subject.
mn is always here to listen too!

startouchedtrinity Sun 02-Sep-07 07:36:54

oh hazy <<hugs>>

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