How to talk to children about bereavement

[LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook]

My best friend's mum has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and she doesn't have very long left at all. We've grown up together and I want to be able to support him and his wife and children, at the moment I'm an ear to talk to and am offering practical support, watching the children (5&2) , cooking easy meals for them to reheat etc. It's seems so minor but I just want to take the pressure off a bit at they're both still working full time and trying to see mum as much as possible.
My friend is struggling with how he's going to tell his daughter (5), she knows Nana is not well and in hospital, but how do you take the conversation further than that without scaring them that people who get ill don't come back? Can anyone recommend any good guidance for him or even books to read with her? She's a bright child and knows something isn't right.

[Kahlua4me]

With my dc I explained that sometimes hospitals can’t help or mend everyone and that grandpa was one of those 😢.

Dc were exactly the same age as your friends dc and they managed really well. DS used to write letter to grandpa which we had to send up the chimney. He decided that as we sent letters to Father Christmas like that, then the ones for grandpa would get to him too.

I did cry in front of them as I wanted them to know that crying was ok if you were sad and that the feeling then passes and you carry on, if tat makes sense. DS came to the funeral but dd didn’t as we felt she was too young to know what was happening.

Afterwards we followed their lead and talked about life, death, grandpa when they did, and answered any questions as they arose.

Sending love to you all, it’s a difficult place to be...

[StillWeRise]

this book is often recommended, although as it deals with death through old age your friend may not feel it's appropriate
one thing is to be clear that all adults are on the same page as it were- it's not good if some random talks about going to live with Jesus if the child has no idea who Jesus is. Also don't let people talk about 'going to sleep' or 'going to a better place'- children are very literal and phrases like that can cause more problems than they solve.