Lost my dad a week ago

[Chippydippy]

I'm feeling such unbearable grief. One week ago today I lost my wonderful, amazing dad. He was 75 and died suddenly of a ruptured aortic aneurysm.

I don't know how I'm going to carry on like I did before. I feel like a light has been switched off within me. I love him so much and we were very close. He didn't live near me, but we spoke a lot and the last words I said to him were I love you as I put the phone down. He was planning on coming over to me for a holiday in September and I feel so sad that it's not going to happen.

I don't know what else to say, I just needed to get it out. I'm the one who is sorting everything as he and mum were divorced years ago and 3 of my 4 my siblings hadn't contacted him for years. I just feel such hatred towards them for that. My loving sweet dad didn't deserve that treatment from them. We had such fun growing up even though we had no money, my parents were always there for us.

I've still got his funeral to arrange and just need to find the strength to do that. Thanks for reading this

[MsMarvellous]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it seems like things will never improve but it will. Give yourself plenty of time and space to grieve. I'm just over 6 years on and day to day its ok. But I do still miss him.

Thinking of you.

[Theworldisfullofgs]

I've lost both my parents. It's hard. It does get easier but it's still hard. I'm really sorry for your loss. Its sounds like you had a great relationship.

[TheArtfulScreamer1]

My dad passed away in 2016 from a brain haemorrhage and having had my DD in March I'm feeling his loss as keenly as ever but I like to think of myself as lucky to have had a lovely dad for thirty odd years and I tell my DD all about him and how much her grandad would've loved her.
Sorry for your loss it doesn't get better but it does get easier

[Chippydippy]

Thank you all so much for your kind replies and I'm sorry you have suffered too. I know as time goes on the pain will ease and I am so grateful I have such lovely memories of him

[happytoday73]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
It must be really hard. One day at a time. Be kind to yourself.

[Theworldisfullofgs]

The memories never go. (My dad died 22 years ago). The ratio of sadness to pure joyful memories change. He knew you loved him and he loved you

[MsMarvellous]

I was just thinking of you again this morning @Chippydippy. KOKO. Lots of love

[Chippydippy]

Thank you @MsMarvellous and thank you everyone. Need to phone the funeral directors this morning. Dad had his post mortem only yesterday so I need to get things sorted. I don't want to but I do if that's makes sense.

[MsMarvellous]

I know what you mean. All the 'to do' list is good in some ways as it gives your brain something to do but bloody hell it's hard.

[Chippydippy]

Hardest thing ever. The most difficult thing at the moment is deciding on burial or cremation. Unfortunately my dad has never expressed a preference to me or to anyone else as far as I'm aware. I'm just scared of making the wrong choice. If he's buried, what if everyone moves away at some point and he's left alone? But I like the thought of having somewhere to go and sit with him when I need to. Decision needs to be made fairly quick as he's been gone just over a week now and Mother Nature will be starting to take effect

[MsMarvellous]

That's a personal choice but for my two penneth... cremation gives the most choice. You can always inter some or all of the ashes. You can have time to decide on that list cremation. You can scatter somewhere beautiful with meaning and visit there to remember your dad. That's how I saw it anyway. But go with your heart x

[MsMarvellous]

*post cremation

[iamme21]

I lost my lovely dad a week ago today. I am beyond devastated. I was with him when he died and spent time saying goodbye before he was taken to the funeral home. I drive there at 10 o’clock last night and sat outside talking to him. I feel your pain

[Chippydippy]

@MsMarvellous I feel exactly that. There's more choice after. Thank you

Oh iamme I'm so sorry

[Inver38]

Sorry for your loss @Chippydippy and @iamme21 we lost my dad 2.5 weeks ago and looking back focussing in the arrangements helped us in the initial aftermath, the chance to do something for dad kept us focussed, a bit anyway.
The funeral was last week and we are still so lost, we will be for a while I know that.
I’m hopeful that the emptiness and fog lift a little with time.

[Chippydippy]

@Inver38 I'm sorry for your loss Yes at the moment doing things for dad is ok and keeping me busy. I feel very strange today, can't describe it any better than that. I think it's because I've sorted the funeral director today and it's all starting to feel like the end is coming. At the moment dad is still here, I'll be able to see him again but one of those viewings is going to be the last time. I can't get my head around that.

[Inver38]

Thank you. It’s such a surreal process. Seeing him for the last time will be so hard, I found it so difficult to say goodbye.

[iamme21]

Hugs to you both @ChippyDippy and @Inver38. I've just read the draft for Dads service that the celebrant has sent - what I could see of it through a haze of tears.
I can't settle to anything, just keep wandering the house - did you have this Inver?

[Shockers]

I’m so very very sorry for your loss. It’s utterly earth shattering and nothing prepares you .

and love to everyone on here who has lost a parent. Xxx

[Welshy545]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my dad in October, he got a cancer diagnosis and died 6 days later, he was 62.
It's been 9 months for me and if course it is still difficult but it does get easier to deal with I promise. I still get really upset but I can speak abiut him now and smile about the good times without breaking down in tears like I did before!
You will never "get over it" but it will become more bearable.
Take these next few week's easy. Xx

[Inver38]

@iamme21 yes I paced a lot, anytime I tried to sit still my legs would be shaking so I’d just get up again, now I seem to spend a lot time staring into space.

Is anyone having dreams / nightmares?

[iamme21]

@Inver38 I'm not having dreams or nightmares, I'm just not sleeping. I was with Dad when he died, I do keep reliving that in my head.

[Inver38]

I’m so sorry, that must be so hard. I’m not getting much but what I do get seems to always include a nightmare but last night I dreamt he was back and it was all just a big mistake

[Zebraantelopegiraffe]

Iamme - my dad died start of june, I was with him too. I also keep re living it over and over and over.

Sorry for all your losses. Its just so rubbish. I have been really really struggling today.

[Chippydippy]

Thank you again everyone I'm so sorry to hear of others suffering too

Been organising dads funeral today, although no date for it yet. Still need to sort out finances which I can't do until I have his death certificates. Had to register his death by declaration today so will be sometime next week before I get any. Also still trying to organise his flat, it's stressing me out.

Thoughts are with you all