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Am I just waiting for the inevitable?

12 replies

Katie3677 · 20/07/2007 08:14

I had my dating scan yesterday and was told by the sonographer that things are not right. She could only see a sac but no fetal pole. The sac is only 51/2 weeks old, when i should be 10 weeks pregnant. I have to go back for a re-scan next week, but is it possible to have got my dates so wrong, or am I just waiting for the inevitable miscarriage?

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pinkrangerstartstowaddle · 20/07/2007 08:37

Hi katie,
only you will know how far out your dates are, i do know that with some people on here the scans have been a few weeks out and when they have gone back all is o.k
for me that wa not the case last year, should have been 10 weeks but only showing at 6+7, i didnt even get offered anthore scan as it was plain to see. Fingers crossed that they have got you dates wronge
Good Luck

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Katie3677 · 20/07/2007 10:25

Thanks for this Pinkranger, it does offer me a little glimmer of hope. However, 5 weeks is a big discrepancy. I am just hoping that the scan was totally wrong and that next week we will see a strong heartbeat. The waiting is the worst bit.

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LittleSquirt · 20/07/2007 11:13

Hi Katie. I had the same thing last month and unfortunately the second scan confirmed that I had a missed miscarriage. I should have been 9w3d but they could only see a sac of around 6w. The good thing is that everyone at the hospital was wondeirng when I had my ERPC 3 days later and it wasn't even that painful. I am now TTC again. I hope the results are different for you though, let us know how you get on. Thinking of you. xxx

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LittleSquirt · 20/07/2007 11:15

I meant wonderful not wondeirng, sorry!

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Katie3677 · 31/07/2007 14:55

The second scan showed that the baby had stopped growing at around six weeks, so yesterday went to hospital for 'procedure' to bring about miscarriage (not sure what the correct term is - the one with the pills!), as i didn't think i could cope with allowing it to happen naturally. It was the most horrific thing I have ever been through and took all day. the staff were useless and checked on me twice throughout the whole day, no food or drink and I actually passed out as i left hospital. Finally, after 8 hours of passing only clots they did a sweep to get the remaining 'product' out. Still not sure if it's all gone and have to go back for a scan next week.
Although I'm glad its all over, I feel really angry at the doctor and nurses for not really explaining what I was letting myself in for. If I'd realised how awful it would be I would have elected for a D&C.
Anyway, I have seen people talking about when to start ttc again and how long the pregnancy hormones hang around for but no-one even spoke to me about this so can anyone offer any advice on how long I need to wait?

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fawkeoff · 31/07/2007 15:02

hi katie....im so sorry for what ur going through at the moment.i have been through 3 miscarriages so i know how ur feeling at the moment.I always elected to hace a d&c as i couldnt emotionally go through what u have had to go through today....totally bruital.I have gone on to have 2 beautiful children so do not let this put you off trying again, and if u need to blow off steam or ask anything then let me know ill watch the thread >>>>>hugs

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Katie3677 · 31/07/2007 15:39

Thanks. I'm very lucky in that I have one gorgeous 2 1/2 year old ds, but he was so excited about the baby that I am not quite sure how to handle it. he keeps asking to give it a hug and say goodnight to it...bless. On one hand I want to try again as quickly as possible, but on the other, I feel like my body has been put through so much that I need to give myself a bit of time. I am also petrified of having another m/c as I know that I couldn't cope with going through all this again. I am usually a very strong person and everyone is expecting me to be strong over this and seem to be a bit surprised when I do break down in tears!

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fawkeoff · 31/07/2007 15:45

i really understand about the waiting thing...i had my second miscarriage the day after my nephew was born...they wouldnt let me go and see him on the mat ward (was really hurt at the time but now understand they where protecting me) i felt i wanted to wait after that experience as i suffered with infections and had to be re hospitalised.i waited about 4 months after that and everything worked out fine.its just getting the courage to do it all again...it will be worth it once you do x

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Helennn · 31/07/2007 15:48

Katie - I am so sorry this has happened. I had a missed miscarriage which was discovered at 15 weeks. I went into hospital for a D&C and my experience was similar to yours - awful. They started me off with a pessary but then theatre became fully booked - so I was literally left to go through it for over 4 hours, no pain-relief, no food or drink. I actually lost the baby in the toilet. I was told the ward had to close at 6pm, (it was only a day ward), so didn't know where I would go if theatre wasn't free soon after that. I did have the D&C in the end but only after going through 4-5 hours of horror. Sorry, I waffle, but just wanted to let you know that a D&C may not have been the answer - and yes, you would think hospitals in this country would be better than this.

I now have a lovely 3 year old daughter,
(as well as a 7 year old son), so I hope everything works out for you in the end.

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Mumpbump · 31/07/2007 15:51

Sounds like you've been through a lot - be easy on yourself and don't try too hard to be strong. M/c is a horrible experience and takes a while to get over, ime, both physically and emotionally.

That said, apart from the fact that you won't know when you ovulate, there is no reason why you can't ttc straight away. The medical profession prefer you to wait for one period so they can date any subsequent pg more easily, but there is no physical reason not to ttc immediately...

It must be hard with your ds asking about the baby. Can you tell him it was a mistake or something? Might be difficult to explain a m/c to a child that young...

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LadyOfTheFlowers · 31/07/2007 15:53

katie .
my first ever baby died at 5 weeks but i obviously didnt know and went on to my dating scan to be told only a sac was there.
i was offered a d&c but declined.

a few days later i began cramping and eventually passed more than a sac which was very upsetting and confusing.



on a positive note, i fell pregnant with ds1 the following month.
the doc told me my body would fall pregnant when it was ready and not before and that's what it did.
he was 2 last week!

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Katie3677 · 31/07/2007 16:07

Thanks for all these positive messages, really gives me some hope. I think I am just going to let nature take its course and not actively 'try' to conceive.

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