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Alice Jolly in Guardian, July 7 (longish comment)(4 Posts)
Since reading Alice Jolly's article about her experiences following her baby being stillborn, I desparately wanted to write a reply - either a letter to the Family section, or on the Talk bit of the Guardian website. From my experience of stillbirth I have drawn the conclusion that this is even more of a taboo than death is usually. It's taken me ages to get round to it but finally this morning I started a discussion on the Guardian Family bit of the website, entitled 'The Taboo of Stillbirth'. Not great title perhaps but there's not really a nice way of talking about stillbirth. Anyway, I burbled on for a bit, decided it was probably more just therapy for me rather than interesting for anyone else, and deleted the whole thing. What I hadn't realised was that I think as soon as I had entered the title it had appeared on the website (title only, nothing else that I wrote). So imagine my surprise when I did a quick search to see if anyone else had commented on Alice Jolly's article and found a reference to my discussion title in the 'threads you wouldn't touch with a barge pole' section ! Fair enough and I completely understand why. But I was surprised how personally I took the comment about my discussion possibly not being 'a bundle of laughs'. Hmmm, no, you're right there. Could have been quite interesting though maybe. Ah well, got it off my chest now anyway. Thanks for reading !
oh tomps, I can see why that would be so hurtful
they are obviously a bunch of complete freaks on there
Annoying isn't it? I always think that so much is taken from you after a stillbirth - obviuosly not having a baby there and not being "allowed" to talk about the baby, but i found too that i wasn't "allowed" to talk about the pregnancy or delivery either. As though none of it had happened.
Perhaps if we did talk about it more it wouldn't be such a taboo. I would've commented on your thread!! Ignore the pricks with the bargepoles. It would've/could've been an interesting discussion!