Lost my grandmother a year ago, anniversary soon. I was her only grandchild and I grew up in a single parent family so was very close to my grandparents.
It was sepsis. It was horrific. She didn’t have adequate pain relief, she was in a bay even though they knew she was dying. They insisted on keep turning her even though they knew she was dying, causing her to scream in pain. We left at the end of visiting time because she was on a bay and we felt we were disturbing other patients. None of the staff let us know death was imminent or we wouldn’t have gone. We got a phone call as we were driving home. I drove as fast as I could, I ran through the hospital. I ran into the bay and saw her lying there dead before anyone could tell me she had gone. My legs went from under me. The way the hospital dealt with us was crap and I have only realised this since my best friends mum died and I was there and witnessed how they were treated so much better (same hospital). They were informed they could visit her in the morgue. Nobody ever told us we could do that and because it wasn’t me paying for the funeral etc I had no choices so wasn’t able to visit her at the funeral home. I still get angry about all this and I’m struggling to move on.
Sorry I just needed to type all that out.
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birdiewoof · 07/01/2019 20:10
birdiewoof so sorry you had to go through this. It's something that stays with me about my dads death over a year ago.
He died in a bay, 4 beds in a bay. I had been there all day, he obviously wasn't well but an oncologist had seen him in the morning and prescribed all sorts of things and said he would see him in a month.
As soon as I got home from the hospital a doctor rang and said she had just seen my dad and in her opinion he wouldn't last the night!
I rushed back and was able to stay with dad as he slipped away. I was greatful for that Dr, she said she thought if it was her dad she would want to know.
So why had nobody else that day told me how close to death he was?! I was there 10am to 7pm!
2 hours before he died the hostess was insisting I had to order him breakfast, and as the sun rose the bay became increasingly noisy with nurses doing obs on the other patients.
I did complain afterwards, saying I thought his death could have been handled better. They admitted there were no side rooms that night.
They have now apparently bought in a system that if a patient is at end of life in a bay, they put a purple butterfly on the board so other staff are aware.
I would urge you to write to the hospital operations manager, or PALS
It made me feel better to just know someone had read my concerns.
. I’m sorry. I’ve put up a thread tonight about being treated poorly around the death of a loved one so I do feel your pain. Xxx
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