I lost my Dad almost 2yrs ago and I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all the friends I made thru Mumsnet....

(11 Posts)
barney2 Thu 07-Jun-07 20:52:18

I lost my Dad almost 2yrs ago now - he died as a result of a car accident, which he had a few weeks before he died - he was hit by a 19yo drunk driver who drove off and left my poor Dad lying in his car....Dad died of a sudden heart attack 3 months later.

I posted a thread 9 months after Dad died saying I simply can't cope and can't get over losing him. At the time I received hundreds of threads giving me advice, sympathising and generally making me feel as though I wasn't alone in all of this.

I just wanted to say thank you very much. I was very low at the time - I couldn't cope with everyday things - I'm a Mum of two young children - and even the routine of everyday life went out the window for many weeks after Dad died - things such as making a tea, finding any enthusiasm, laughing (I felt guilty for laughing!), playing with the children, driving past the cemetary, tending Dad's grave (that was especially hard) and even little things like remembering his happy smiling face would just set me off crying and my last memory of him was of him lying dead by the phone which is where he was found.

Mumsnet has been a lifeline for me - it made me realise you're never on your own no matter what your problem/worry etc may be - thank you to everyone.....xx

OP’s posts: |
cookieMOMster Thu 07-Jun-07 22:00:33

Hi barney2, I am glad to hear you are oK. Hope to hear from u again soon if possible (i used to be linjasmom). Take care!! XX

barney2 Thu 07-Jun-07 22:54:03

Hi Linjasmom - thanks for getting in touch. Yep I'm doing ok. Have far more 'good' days than 'bad' - I just keep telling myself, when I'm down, to cheer up cos that's what my Dad would've wanted!! Life does get easier but it doesn't happen overnight - it takes months/years. Keep in touch!! xx

OP’s posts: |
Tinker Thu 07-Jun-07 23:52:13

I'm glad you're ok. Was only re-reading your thread a few weeks ago.

barney2 Fri 08-Jun-07 11:36:37

Hi Tinker - thanks for getting in touch. Yep I'm ok thanks. Get a little bit better as each day goes by.

If there is anyone else out there who has recently gone through the same terrible loss as me - losing a parent - please get in touch. I've learnt a lot over the last 18months - I had no one to turn to when I was so low other than my own family - all my friends (all of whom have been lovely) have all still got their parents so it was quite difficult for them to really appreciate how hard it was to lose someone who meant so much to me, and still does.

I know we all have to lose our parents one day, and I quite often said 'I can't imagine losing my Dad' - I was particularly close to him moreso than my Mum....and then it happened. I've had to come to terms with the huge void he has left in my life and it hasn't been easy.

Anyway life goes on - he wouldn't want me being miserable - I'm lucky - I have a wonderful husband, two lovely children and some fantastic caring friends. And if I can help anyone else out there please get in touch. XX

OP’s posts: |
radcliffe Tue 12-Jun-07 20:00:26

Just looking at this as my dad died 2 weeks ago. It was all pretty sudden as he was only 65 and had only retired for 3 months.

Things are really difficult right now and it's worse as I live 200 miles away from rest of my family so haven't seen them since the funeral. I think it's hard when people die too soon although it's never going to be easy. I just find people haven't really got a clue.

Wordsmith Thu 14-Jun-07 22:44:36

Hi Barney, glad you're feeling a bit better.

Sorry about your loss Radcliffe, keep posting here, you'll always have someone to talk to.

It'll be 2 yrs in Sept since my Dad died. I was buying fathers day cards for DH from our two boys today and I subconsciously picked one up for my dad too. When I realised what I'd done it suddenly hit me like a hammer and I just welled up. It's little things like that that get me going.

radcliffe Fri 15-Jun-07 18:08:01

I am dreading fathers day to be honest but have to go through the motions for the kids.

sparklesandwine Fri 15-Jun-07 18:38:56

I've just come across your thread barney2 - i wasn't about last year when you posted but I have just got through the first year after my dad's death and it has been very hard, so i really do feel for you especially at this time of year

My dad was diagnosed with brain tumours when i was pg with DS1 but they were not cancerous and were able to be removed

My dad had a number of operations to remove the tumours over the next 7 years but eventually last January they said there were too many and gave him 2 weeks to live

At the time I was pg with DS3 and found it all very hard to come to terms with as i was very close to my dad and couldn't imagine him actually dying - to know that he was going to die was very hard.

DS3 was born on 9th May last year and my dad sadly died on 18th May just 9 days after he was born I found this extremly hard to cope with but my dad saw DS3 at a point when he still seemed to be fairly 'with it' although he could no longer speak i think he knew

I believe in fate - DS3 was not due to be born until 20th May and he came 11 days early (the other 3 had all been 10 or 11 days late) so i believe that my little man came early for a reason

I also had to take a big part in arranging his funeral and his estate as my sister and brother were too far away to do it and he was not married to his partner. All this on top of losing my much loved dad and just having a beautiful new baby was an extremely hard emotional situation but I have the most wonderful DP who been so amazing through the whole time and continues to be, that i know it is possible to come out the other end

Sorry for the long post but I have never spoken of this on mn before and just felt the need to get it out - xx

sparklesandwine Fri 15-Jun-07 18:44:19

gosh sorry with that long post I probably should have started my own thread.....

fryalot Fri 15-Jun-07 18:49:53

that was a very moving post, sparkles

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