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My father has passed away

(17 Posts)
pyrru Sat 26-May-18 04:12:50

I don’t know how to start this. I can’t even cry yet as I need to be strong for my elderly mother.
He’s abroad. There was no flight for my mother except for 9 pm tonight.
My mother came to help me with my toddler as I had a baby 20 days ago. I don’t know what am saying.

huha Sat 26-May-18 04:14:05

I'm so so sorry OP.
One hour at a time for now.
Focus on logistics, getting yourself and your Mum back to sort things out.

MaitlandGirl Sat 26-May-18 04:15:48

I’m so sorry flowers is there anyone who can fly back with your mum so she’s not alone in the flight?

If not the flight attendants will look after her, someone will need to tell them on checkin.

Once again, I’m so sorry flowers

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 04:26:03

Can someone on flight look after her? Who do I have to tell? I would have flown with her but the newborn doesn’t have a passport.
Thank you both, I can’t cry yet as my mother will fall ill otherwise seeing me down. I need to get her home.

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 04:28:11

I will never forgive myself. In 43 years of marriage it’s the first time they lived apart. I should never have asked my mother to come and help me. My father died without seeing my mother.

huha Sat 26-May-18 04:39:18

@pyrru you couldn't have known this would happen, please please do not blame yourself. You can get an emergency passport for your newborn.

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 04:43:14

Thank you huha

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 04:45:30

We are clock watching waiting for the flight. My dad must have been so scared without my mum.

MaitlandGirl Sat 26-May-18 06:06:01

You can contact your countries embassy in the country you’re in and request emergency travel documents for your daughter. I know in Australia the UK embassy will issue documents the day you go and see them so you can be home with your daughter maybe a day behind your mum.

Call the desk of the airline at the airport and explain the situation. Tell them why your mum is travelling alone and what’s happened, then remind them at checkin. They’ll make sure the flight attendants know and they’ll take care of your mum on the flight.

Is there anyone sorted to meet her at the other end? If possible just send your mum back with hand luggage and you follow on ASAP with the rest of her belongings. That’ll speed things up for her at the airport.

As has been said above it’s not your fault. I’m sure your mum wouldn’t have travelled if there was any doubt over your dads health.

LadyGAgain Sat 26-May-18 06:19:17

thanks for you. Please don't think you have anything to forgive yourself about. You have had a baby. What joy your father will have felt knowing your mum was able to be beside their own little girl (you). I am so sorry for your loss especially at a time of such joy. Do you have someone who can look after you once your mum has flown? You are also vulnerable. New baby, hormones and the shock at losing your dear dad. Call the airline and explain the situation and perhaps today find out about getting an emergency passport. I will think about you today.

PearlyG8 Sat 26-May-18 06:28:18

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and so many practical challenges when you have a new baby but also congratulations and love to your whole family. flowers

I hope you will find all the compassion and practical help you need, there are lots of wonderful and kind people in the world, don't forget to ask for help xxxx

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 06:32:27

Mait I couldn’t think straight so thank you for your time in explaining these to me. I took your advice and called the airline at Heathrow and they have been very helpful in arranging a wheelchair for my mother to get me in and out of the airport as a priority as she has low mobility. They also assured me someone will take care of her on the flight. I wouldn’t have thought of these if you didn’t advise me, many many thanks.

We are British so need a brutish passport for my daughter. I will google and see who to call.

Yes my whole family are there so someone will be picking her up there.
I can’t let myself think of my father yet as I need to get my mother home first for his funeral.
Thank you for listening, you have helped me a lot.

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 06:33:27

Thank you both. You are both so kind thank you.

Lollypop701 Sat 26-May-18 20:59:12

Loving someone for that long means Your father held your mother in his heart, and was not alone. He wanted your dm to be with you. I’m so sorry for your loss, and the stuff to sort out. Hope you get the passport sorted x

pyrru Sat 26-May-18 21:43:14

Thank you for your kind words Lolly. My mother’s flight left at 9 tonight and it’s a 12 hours flight. I just need her to get home safely as I am very worried about her mental state. I need her to see my dad off tomorrow.

pyrru Sun 27-May-18 13:19:48

Thank you all for your support and kind words. My mum made it home one hour before the funeral left. She got to see my dad off. I never thought in my life that I will be the one who will separate them and my dad will die without seeing my mum. My poor mum who made the worst 12 hours flight home. My dad was my hero. He was larger than life itself. I spoke to him about everything. I never imagined I will lose him. I don’t even know how to start accepting that he’s gone now. My family video called me to see him and he looked so beautiful so peaceful. My dad is gone now.

MaitlandGirl Wed 30-May-18 07:04:55

Does your mum have anyone at home with her now?

Hopefully it won’t be too long before you can be there with her - I know you weren’t able to be there for the funeral and I can’t imagine how devastating that must have been but I’m so relieved (pleased just sounds so wrong) that your mum made it in time.

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