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Bereavement

How do we mark dad’s birthday when he’s no longer here?

8 replies

Retreatbynameretreatbynature · 07/04/2018 12:56

Just that really. My darling dad passed away last year and today is the first birthday without him. I keep looking at the clock and thinking that i should be getting ready to visit him with presents and cards and then i realise he’s not here. My heart breaks all over again. Dad was cremated so there’s no grave to go to. How can we mark his day?

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Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 07/04/2018 13:00

What did he love doing? Was there a place in particular that he liked?

Play his favourite music, raise a glass to him, plant a tree, get together and talk about your memories, go to the beach and write his name in the sand, cook his favourite meal...

There are lots of lovely ways to remember your dad Flowers

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Follyfoot · 07/04/2018 13:01

Oh poor you, firsts are very hard aren't they. Is there somewhere he loved, a walk, a view, a cafe, a park? Somewhere like that you could visit would be a nice way to remember him.

If not, how about starting a new tradition that he would have liked? Writing him a letter telling him all about the last year and saving it somewhere. Or going to choose some lovely summer flowers that you could plant today, and then do the same thing each year on his birthday?

Flowers for you.

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Follyfoot · 07/04/2018 13:01

Cross posting with Buzz Smile

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MyGuideJools · 07/04/2018 13:18

⚘we've just had my dear dads first birthday since he died. His ashes are in a rose pot in mums garden. I bought a little pot of flowers to put near his rose.
I took mum out for a meal and we said 'happy birthday' to dad.
That's it really, very sad that he's not here as he loved birthdays, but I just wanted to remember him quietly.
I also lit a candle next to dads photo.

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ineedaholidaynow · 07/04/2018 13:28

It was DF's first birthday since he died, a couple of months ago. DM went to stay with a friend.

I bought some flowers, which we had also at his funeral, as they hold special memories for us all. Put them by a photo of DF and raised a glass for him.

Dragged DH and DS to see The Greatest Showman as needed something to cheer me up (and cried through most of it Blush)

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Daffydil · 07/04/2018 13:39

We get together as a family and have birthday cake for my dad. He died 5.5 yrs ago. We don't mark the day he died, it's not a day we wish to remember.

When I say family, so far it's been my family and my sister's family. My mum doesn't feel able to celebrate his birthday yet. We always invite her, and give her an easy way to say no.

When we couldn't get together on the weekend closest to his birthday (my sister lives two hours away) we had cake individually and sent each other photos.

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alibaba1980 · 07/04/2018 17:38

It was my Dad’s first birthday since he died on Thursday and in a weird way I’d been looking forward to it. My kids and I had planned to plant a rose in our garden in memory of him and I’d bought a little plaque to go near it. We had Birthday cake with candles and the kids sang. I even sent my Mum a card to say I was thinking of her. I don’t ever want to stop celebrating my Dad and think it’s good to mark these occasions in the way your Dad would have enjoyed.

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MyGuideJools · 07/04/2018 18:57

alibaba that sounds lovely. This sounds silly but I didn't want to do too much for fear of upsetting mum, I think she's a bit fragile at the moment.

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