Waiting for someone you love to die..

[Enko]

Mil had a stroke last Wednesday.. She hasn't eaten or drunk since. She is getting morphine for pain and hourly mouth swaps..

She looks like this fragile little bird. Can clearly understand us when awake but has almost no speech (she tries but not a lot comes out) I took dd2 age 18 to see her yesterday and MIL managed a bye as we left.. DD2 then stood outside the door to her room crying silently in my arms....

People talk about love being all pretty and hearts and chocolate

but really love in the purest form is this we are experiencing right now.. that raw hurting " omg I cant imagine this world without her in it" sensation..

DH looks like he has aged 10 years in the last week.. His dad died from cancer 14 years ago so this is his last parent andMIL is almost 91 so on a logic plan I know she has had a good life. I know she is ready to go.. She told me so about 3 weeks ago.. This last year have been tough as she has become more and more fragile..

Just oh I will miss her

[veneeroftheweek]

So sorry you're going through this. It's incredibly painful. Wishing you all lots of strength for the coming weeks.

[TheVastMajority]

I was very privileged to sit with my FIL at the end of his life. The grief is terrible, but we supported eachother and helped MIL through it and throughout, we talked and soothed and laughed with FIL even though he was off with the fairies on pain meds or unconscious. WHen the end came it was a time of great sadness, but actually an affirmation of the love in the family, of the legacy of fun and laughter and respect and kindness he had built. It was a good death.

[rainbowruthie]

I am so sorry to read of your sad news
I have experienced this three times over so have an understanding of just how hard it is.........sometimes when 'the end' comes there is a sense of relief in an odd sort of way
I am sending you my kindest thoughts and wishing you the strength to get through this time

[Leafyhouse]

God, I know it's horrible. My parents were diagnosed with terminal cancer within 3 weeks of each other.

All I'd say for comfort is that this issue right now dominates your entire world, and it's incredibly sad. In a year's time, you'll look back on it with the same sadness, but it won't dominate your world any more. Time really heals.

I think now, your main priority is to make sure you get this right, because you won't get a second chance. Make yourself available, do what you reasonably can, and try to remember that this is actually the natural order of things.

I've watched my mother die, but I also watched her bury her eldest son, and well... words fail me.

Good luck, and stay strong.

[Enko]

She passed away today at 1 37.. my husband spend the morning with her. Seems the last time she spoke was last night when DD2 and I left and she whispered " bye"

24 years she was my mother in law.. at some point for me she just became " mum".. and oh I loved her...

[ChristmasLightLover]

So sorry to read your update Enko. Please come and join us on the thread for people whose parents have passed. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.

[DramaAlpaca]

I'm very sorry for your family's loss

[jellyelly]

So sad for you/your DH, but lovely to hear of a good mother-in-law relationship. You write beautifully about her.

[theeyeofthestormchaser]

How lovely to hear of such a positive DIL-MIL relationship.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing your mil god speed.

[ineedaholidaynow]

I am so sorry OP. Thinking of you, your DH and the rest of your family

[Enko]

Thank you everyone.. today we are all just working our way through how we can best deal with it all.. All 3 schools have been fantastic I got to say. Makes life a bit nicer when people try to help.

I know it is (sadly) unusual for people to have a positive relationship with their mother in laws I have often said if I can be half the mother in law she was then I think my in law to be will be happy.