I don't know why I am posting this.. Just need to get my thoughts written down I suppose.
My Nan is 96 years old and for about 8 years been struggling with dementia. She's always been a very strong fit and healthy woman. I've been very, very close to her all my life and for many years been closer to her than my own mum.
Anyway, fast forward to last Wednesday. She was admitted to hospital after the care home noticing a decline in her health.. Refusing to eat, not wanting to get out of bed. Blood tests showed her kidneys had failed and she has an infection in her blood. The doctors told us on Wednesday morning that she has hours, not days to live.
She was placed in a private room on a ward and we were told that the life supporting machines (drip, oxygen, heart monitors, blood pressure checks) were going to be taken away from her as there's nothing they can do for her and it is just prolonging the inevitable.
So all they are doing for her is turning her every few hours.
That was last Wednesday. We are a very small family, but the family that we do have, have all visited to say their goodbyes.
Between me and my dad we have been taking it in turns to stay with her. There is a small camp bed in the room and my dad has been staying overnight and I have been going every morning to let my dad go home for a few hours.
Now it's Sunday night and she is still with us despite the doctors predicting she had hours to live on Wednesday. Because she has has no fluids, no drip since Wednesday, she is, hour by hour looking terrible. She is basically shrivelling up, her skin, eyes and mouth is so dry. Her tongue is almost reptile like. She is babbling away in an unrecognisable hoarse voice so you can't make out what she is saying apart from "help me" it's absolutely gut wrenching seeing her like this. They've given us little sponges to squeeze water around her lips but she seems hyper sensitive to touch and doesn't seem to want any drops of water around her mouth.
She also seems to be in a lot of pain. She is having a small dose of pain relief now and again.
I've been a wreck since Wednesday and can't stop crying. I honestly can't bear seeing her like this and it's breaking my heart. I am trying to be strong for my dad but I'm falling to pieces. I can't understand the decision not to put her on a drip. The doctors said this is end of life care and the drip will drag things on even more but part of me feels it's so cruel and almost barbaric that she is being dehydrated to death.
Sorry this is so long.
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Bereavement
Hate seeing her like this..end of life care
46 replies
Crazyladee · 18/03/2018 21:27
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