Hi all, just wanted to connect with others who are maybe going through something similar.
My brother was diagnosed with melanoma in October, we were told all along it was incurable, but had hoped to hold it at bay for a couple of years at least with various drugs.
Sadly this week we have been told there is nothing more the doctors can do, and he has a few months left. He is only 46.
There are so many sad aspects - he was so clever but it is attacking his brain, he leaves a wife and two small children, my parents have to watch their son die, and I lose my big brother. Just horrendous all round.
I know there is nothing anyone can do, but just wanted to maybe find a few people who are going/have gone through something similar.
Thanks for reading.
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Bereavement
Brother dying
annikin · 25/02/2018 22:30
No experience with losing a sibling but my dad is probably in his last weeks (maybe months but I don’t think so really) of a terminal illness so I understand a little of the despair.
Take your brother’s lead. Tell him you love him.
A colleague lost her brother when he was 30 after having had cancer on and off for 8 years, and she found it consoling to seek out others who had lost a sibling.
I would echo that to a degree in that I only really want to talk about stuff with my dad with people who understand what it feels like to be losing a parent. Everyone else tries to say the right things but somehow it mainly helps when talking to people who have been through it too.
Lots of love and best wishes to you, your brother and the rest of your family 
I lost my little brother in somewhat similar circumstances OP. It was four years ago. He had what should have been a very treatable lymphoma, but he just didn't respond to treatment at all, and it killed him within a year of diagnosis. It was, and is, so awful. Although now I can say that it's become part of my story, it doesn't hurt like it used to.
Unlike your brother, mine didn't seem to know he was dying - he was being prepared for a stem cell transplant when he suddenly went downhill, and he was out of it for the last few days before he died.
He didn't have children, but he had so much to live for, and I loved him so much, we all did/do. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, except to remember that you're not alone. There are millions of people in the world facing a similar loss to you, and millions more who are on the other side of it. But somehow it feels so lonely sometimes.
annikin I'm so sorry.
When my brother died I knew logically that he had died, but at the same time I didn't understand why everyone was offering condolences, as he wasn't dead dead. Whatever that's supposed to mean! I saw him when he was dying, and went to his funeral, but I didn't see his body. I think it would have helped if I had, that's my one regret.
Grief can feel like insanity - keep posting here if it helps, we've all been there.
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