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Been at the hospital for days. Mum is hanging on.

(26 Posts)
CuriousMama Sun 04-Feb-18 07:41:44

Mum's elderly and has been deteriorating over the months. Now she's unresponsive and end of life.

I have been at the hospital almost a week waiting for her to pass. My sister has been with me most of the time and other family have been visiting.

I didn't think she'd last this long. But she's just sleeping not suffering afaik?

Luckily I already had holidays booked in for work and they've juggled some shifts. But it would have been tough if they couldn't as I want to be here.

The hospital have been great. Just nowhere to sleep so I got a camp bed. It's been really useful.

Apparently this could go on for weeks? Yesterday morning she was having very long gaps between breathing. We thought this was it. Now she's breathing regularly.

Makinglists Sun 04-Feb-18 07:50:31

Sending you love - i went through the same experience 3 weeks ago. Once Dm breathing started to change the end was fairly swift. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama Sun 04-Feb-18 07:54:44

Thanks I hope it isn't long now.

sandgrown Sun 04-Feb-18 08:00:48

I sat with my mum for a couple of days . I don't know how I would have coped with longer. I veered between wanting her to stay and wanting her to go and not suffer. I did keep talking to her as I believe hearing is the last sense to go. Could you play some of her favourite music ? When family came we chatted about the good times. Thinking of you flowers

CoffeeandChocolateplease Sun 04-Feb-18 08:21:32

I'm thinking of you. I've just been there myself last week with my Mum. I understand about how hard the waiting is, although we did not have to wait quite as long as you. It was some sort of relief when the end came. Please look after yourself and get some sleep if possible flowers

Makingahome Sun 04-Feb-18 08:24:35

If the end is close could she come home to die? Speak to the ward sister. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

rainbowruthie Sun 04-Feb-18 08:26:00

Wishing you strength to deal with this difficult time, I had a similar situation with my mum and as pp has said it is a relief when the end comes flowers

ChristmasLightLover Sun 04-Feb-18 08:32:35

So sorry to read this. My Dad did this on a Monday night. Rallied on Tuesday. Then slept. He ate on the Thursday. Drank liquid Saturday. Died Sunday AM.

Sharing this to show that there is no pattern at all. It could be a week without liquid being taken in. I'm just sad for you, that you're going through this. I watched a football dvd with my Dad and talked to him about it. I found making conversation hard day after day. Do keep talking though. Read a book aloud. Or the paper.

Another thought, have you told her that it's ok to stop now? So many people talk about this. And people passing soon afterwards. Don't know if relevant. But anyway. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama Sun 04-Feb-18 09:39:03

I've told mum it's ok to go. She has her favourite radio station on. I've read Daffodils to her as it's her favourite poem. She quoted it only last Friday.
We're talking to her all the time.

CuriousMama Sun 04-Feb-18 09:42:22

And we were told this morning she could have gone home to die but they can't refil her driver for medssl on Sunday as there isn't any available.

Bluelady Sun 04-Feb-18 19:38:15

So very sorry, it's very hard. I sat with my mum for eight days. On the eighth day both my son and I had a little chat with her and said, much as we'd miss her, it was time she left us and joined Dad, her mum and her sisters. She went about two hours later.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 05-Feb-18 13:08:39

Oh its horrible waiting for them to pass. Has everyone been in to see her could she be waiting for someone.
Have you told her it's okay to go and that you'll be okay.
My thoughts are with you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 05-Feb-18 13:09:47

Oh sorry I didn't see your post at 0939 until after I'd posted.

CuriousMama Tue 06-Feb-18 07:51:47

Mum died Sunday. It was very peaceful.

RhubarbYoghurt Tue 06-Feb-18 09:18:56

I'm so sorry for your loss

ajandjjmum Tue 06-Feb-18 09:40:24

Sorry for the loss of your Mum. flowers

CuriousMama Tue 06-Feb-18 13:15:35

Thank you

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 06-Feb-18 13:20:50

Sorry for your loss. flowers
She's at peace now.

SugarMiceInTheRain Tue 06-Feb-18 13:23:10

Sorry for your loss CuriousMama flowers

CoffeeandChocolateplease Tue 06-Feb-18 17:24:30

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

2018SoFarSoGreat Tue 06-Feb-18 17:26:52

ah so sorry for your loss, Curious - you must be exhausted! Get some rest, and hope you have someone who can be lovely to you this week, as you were to your mum {flowers]

ChristmasLightLover Tue 06-Feb-18 21:24:07

So sorry. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama Wed 07-Feb-18 07:29:52

Thanks I've been resting. My poor sister has flu and she has to register death. She has death certificate. I said I'd pick it up as don't live that clise but she said she'll do it! I think because I've been the one fighting for mam to be seen by dr ect.. She wants to be big sis. Plus she's next of kin.

CuriousMama Wed 07-Feb-18 07:30:21


Makinglists Wed 07-Feb-18 14:23:26

Thinking of you.xxxxx

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