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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Been at the hospital for days. Mum is hanging on.

25 replies

CuriousMama · 04/02/2018 07:41

Mum's elderly and has been deteriorating over the months. Now she's unresponsive and end of life.

I have been at the hospital almost a week waiting for her to pass. My sister has been with me most of the time and other family have been visiting.

I didn't think she'd last this long. But she's just sleeping not suffering afaik?

Luckily I already had holidays booked in for work and they've juggled some shifts. But it would have been tough if they couldn't as I want to be here.

The hospital have been great. Just nowhere to sleep so I got a camp bed. It's been really useful.

Apparently this could go on for weeks? Yesterday morning she was having very long gaps between breathing. We thought this was it. Now she's breathing regularly.

OP posts:

Report

Makinglists · 04/02/2018 07:50

Sending you love - i went through the same experience 3 weeks ago. Once Dm breathing started to change the end was fairly swift. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama · 04/02/2018 07:54

Thanks I hope it isn't long now.

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sandgrown · 04/02/2018 08:00

I sat with my mum for a couple of days . I don't know how I would have coped with longer. I veered between wanting her to stay and wanting her to go and not suffer. I did keep talking to her as I believe hearing is the last sense to go. Could you play some of her favourite music ? When family came we chatted about the good times. Thinking of you

CoffeeandChocolateplease · 04/02/2018 08:21

I'm thinking of you. I've just been there myself last week with my Mum. I understand about how hard the waiting is, although we did not have to wait quite as long as you. It was some sort of relief when the end came. Please look after yourself and get some sleep if possible

Makingahome · 04/02/2018 08:24

If the end is close could she come home to die? Speak to the ward sister. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

rainbowruthie · 04/02/2018 08:26

Wishing you strength to deal with this difficult time, I had a similar situation with my mum and as pp has said it is a relief when the end comes

ChristmasLightLover · 04/02/2018 08:32

So sorry to read this. My Dad did this on a Monday night. Rallied on Tuesday. Then slept. He ate on the Thursday. Drank liquid Saturday. Died Sunday AM.

Sharing this to show that there is no pattern at all. It could be a week without liquid being taken in. I'm just sad for you, that you're going through this. I watched a football dvd with my Dad and talked to him about it. I found making conversation hard day after day. Do keep talking though. Read a book aloud. Or the paper.

Another thought, have you told her that it's ok to stop now? So many people talk about this. And people passing soon afterwards. Don't know if relevant. But anyway. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama · 04/02/2018 09:39

I've told mum it's ok to go. She has her favourite radio station on. I've read Daffodils to her as it's her favourite poem. She quoted it only last Friday.
We're talking to her all the time.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 04/02/2018 09:42

And we were told this morning she could have gone home to die but they can't refil her driver for medssl on Sunday as there isn't any available.

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Bluelady · 04/02/2018 19:38

So very sorry, it's very hard. I sat with my mum for eight days. On the eighth day both my son and I had a little chat with her and said, much as we'd miss her, it was time she left us and joined Dad, her mum and her sisters. She went about two hours later.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/02/2018 13:08

Oh its horrible waiting for them to pass. Has everyone been in to see her could she be waiting for someone.
Have you told her it's okay to go and that you'll be okay.
My thoughts are with you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/02/2018 13:09

Oh sorry I didn't see your post at 0939 until after I'd posted.

CuriousMama · 06/02/2018 07:51

Mum died Sunday. It was very peaceful.

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RhubarbYoghurt · 06/02/2018 09:18

I'm so sorry for your loss

ajandjjmum · 06/02/2018 09:40

Sorry for the loss of your Mum.

CuriousMama · 06/02/2018 13:15

Thank you

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/02/2018 13:20

Sorry for your loss.
She's at peace now.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 06/02/2018 13:23

Sorry for your loss CuriousMama

CoffeeandChocolateplease · 06/02/2018 17:24

I'm so sorry for your loss

2018SoFarSoGreat · 06/02/2018 17:26

ah so sorry for your loss, Curious - you must be exhausted! Get some rest, and hope you have someone who can be lovely to you this week, as you were to your mum {flowers]

ChristmasLightLover · 06/02/2018 21:24

So sorry. Thinking of you.

CuriousMama · 07/02/2018 07:29

Thanks I've been resting. My poor sister has flu and she has to register death. She has death certificate. I said I'd pick it up as don't live that clise but she said she'll do it! I think because I've been the one fighting for mam to be seen by dr ect.. She wants to be big sis. Plus she's next of kin.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 07/02/2018 07:30

Close

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Makinglists · 07/02/2018 14:23

Thinking of you.xxxxx

Bluelady · 10/02/2018 18:55

So very sorry. Nothing hurts more than losing your mum.

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