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For those that have misscaried recently(3 Posts)
This week marks the fourth anniversary of when I lost a baby at 12 weeks (my first pregnancy). It started to happen at a friend's wedding reception. I was terrified and in lots of pain. I had never felt an emotion like it. We had to wait until the Monday morning for an ultrasound, so I spent over 24 hours desperate to know if my baby was still alive - it wasn't. Back in London I saw an obstetrician to ask what had gone wrong, he was very re-assuring and really helped me to make sense of it medically, but of course nobody can help you to make sense of it mentally and emotionally. It seemed that the world had turned against me; every time I opened a newspaper or magazine for the next few weeks I was confronted with images of women with babies. Everyone around me seemed to be pregnant. I felt as though there was a huge hole ripped inside me. I felt empty. We tried to get pregnant every month, all of the romance was taken out of sex, it was purely pro-creation. Each month when my period arrived I wanted to curl up and die. I knew that the only thing that would help me to move on and to not feel so empty was to get pregnant again. I did get pregnant and now have a 2.5 year old DD and a 7 month old DS, but I still wonder what happened to my first baby. I can still remember that feeling of emptiness and despair. I spent my two healthy, normal pregnancies in fear that the same thing would happen again. If you are going through this at the moment, then please be strong. Cry when you need to let it out. Avoid situations where you have to see lots of pg friends of new babies (people will understand). Talk to your partner because he has been affected too (mine was devastated but felt that he couldn't show it as he wanted to be strong for me). Listen to the success stories out there and try to remain positive that you will one day hold your baby (I know that at the moment it may feel like the impossible). I wish you all well and hope that this message might help someone out there.
I had a missed miscarriage 10 weeks ago and feel exactly the same as you discribe. Its nice to know that what i am feeling is "normal". I ma glad it all worked out for you in the end and you have 2 lovely children
I had a MMC 2 weeks ago . Im still in the raw stages of grieving and thinking that ill never be a mum. Have been crying for most of today but reading your post has made me feel more positive again. Im sorry to hear of your loss and congratulations on your 2 DC. Its so nice of you to come on here and share your story.