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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Today was my babies funeral

62 replies

BeyondHope · 23/01/2018 17:49

Just that really. Me and my husband said our goodbyes to my beautiful boy born sleeping just after Christmas. The words that the chaplain said shattered my heart. Seeing my big strong husband carry that white coffin into the chapel shattered my heart. How do I begin to come back from this?

OP posts:

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endofthelinefinally · 23/01/2018 17:51

I am so sorry for your loss.

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 23/01/2018 17:54

I'm so sorry, I really don't have the words to say how sad I feel for you. Xx

DextroDependant · 23/01/2018 17:55

So sorry for your loss xxxxxx

yawning801 · 23/01/2018 17:55

I am so sorry, there are no words that can be put in a phrase to represent the absolute devastation of losing a child.

SnowGoArea · 23/01/2018 17:56

Oh you poor love

I don't think can come back as such, but you will find a new way forward, in time.

Do you have other children or is he your first baby? What is his name (if youre happy to share that).

HappyHedgehog247 · 23/01/2018 17:56

I am so sorry. The whole time he was growing he knew you and was safe and warm inside you. Xx

Afreshcuppateaplease · 23/01/2018 17:56

So sorry did he have a name?

RefuseTheLies · 23/01/2018 17:57

Sending you love with my deepest and most heartfelt sympathies

Notasperfectasallothermners · 23/01/2018 17:58

You keep your relationship strong by sharing your feelings.. So sorry, can't imagine.

MissMouseMcPhee · 23/01/2018 17:58

I am so so sorry. Would you like to talk about him?

goodiegoodieyumyum · 23/01/2018 17:59

So sorry for you loss.

redfairy · 23/01/2018 17:59

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I lost two babies this way many years ago so I know how overwhelming your grief must feel. You don't to plan to come back at this point. Just focus in getting through each day as it comes and be kind to each other. Much love for you both and your precious son.

BeyondHope · 23/01/2018 18:07

Thank you everyone. His name is Christopher. I have a son who is 3.5. He's the only reason I have to get up in the morning. He's what is keeping me from going under. redfairy I am sorry for the loss of your babies. I feel like a bit of a step back today. Or maybe i was just hiding my feelings and today I was forced to confront them.

OP posts:

TickyTakky · 23/01/2018 18:09

So sorry to hear hear about your son.

DipsyLaLa22 · 23/01/2018 18:16

I’m so sorry to hear this. My firstborn son would have been 9 tomorrow but was stillborn (he was also a Christopher).
Everyone’s bereavement journey is different, but I found the early days very hard. You get through one day at a time, but you do get through it. But you never forget. I can honestly say that not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him.

Have you been in contact with SANDS? I found meeting other people who had been through the same thing helpful. I don’t think you really understand the loss unless you’ve been there.

Phillipa12 · 23/01/2018 18:22

You dont come back from this, you learn to live with it in what is now your new normal, some days the hole will be small and some days it will be large and there is no predicting its size on any day. For me its the lead up to anniversaries, my dds birthday, the day she died and the funeral, her birthday is always the worst but its not as bad as the days beforehand. My boys are also what keep me going and one of my dcs middle names is also Christopher. Op i am so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself. Xx

holasoydora · 23/01/2018 18:25

So sorry for for your loss xxx

celinequeen · 23/01/2018 18:42

Giraffey1 · 23/01/2018 18:44

So sorry for your loss. It must be so very, very hard. But I feel you will together find a way through this sadness, in time. Be kind to yourself x

JontyDoggle37 · 23/01/2018 18:47

I’m so sorry for your loss I think the time between death and the funeral can feel like a weird kind of limbo, almost suspended animation. Then the funeral happens and it’s like everything comes crashing back. Thinking of you.

rainbowruthie · 23/01/2018 18:54

Please accept my sincere condolences

BeyondHope · 23/01/2018 19:20

Thank you. I just want to talk all day about him and i know that's not really healthy. He was meant to be our happy ending after 5 miscarriages over the last two years. He was meant to be here with us. He was meant to be my sons brother and it's all been taken away. I miss him terribly and I didn't even know him. My beautiful baby.

OP posts:

EllieFredrickson · 23/01/2018 19:23

So sorry for your loss.

I know what you mean about wanting to talk about him. I lost a son too and I miss talking about him.

Christopher is such a lovely name. He's in all our thoughts now too.

Fingermoose · 23/01/2018 19:28

I'm so sorry. for you and for Christopher.

Outlookmainlyfair · 23/01/2018 19:31

I’m sorry to hear

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