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Cannot understand why he chose to do this - suicide

(11 Posts)
t00manytears Fri 19-Jan-18 10:41:55

I am struggling to understand how this could have happened. Earlier this week my cousin hanged himself. He had, on the surface, everything to live for and left behind a doting wife and baby.

His life was full of love. His parents (my aunt and uncle) are completely devastated let alone his poor wife. I don't understand what drove him to this desperate act. Especially as he had a little baby who will now grow up without a dad.

I know suicide is not rational, but if he could have seen the devastation this would cause I don't know if he would have gone ahead and done this. His family will never be the same again.

I just cannot understand it....

Bookishh Fri 19-Jan-18 10:43:41

You can't see anything but wanting to die.

Bookishh Fri 19-Jan-18 10:44:24

A huge shock to his family. Sending you strength flowers

endofthelinefinally Fri 19-Jan-18 10:44:52

He must have been desperately mentally unwell.
I lost a sibling to suicide.
I am so sorry.

bonnymnemonic Fri 19-Jan-18 10:47:13

Often those who are suicidal believe their nearest and dearest would be better off without them around. Or they are unable to see beyond themselves - not out of selfishness, but out of desperation to not feel that way anymore. As you recognise, it's not rational, just incredibly sad.

I'm sorry for your loss.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Fri 19-Jan-18 10:53:15

In circumstances where a person appears to have everything to live for, I think of it as having something short circuit in the brain, to have gone so wrong that they truly cannot see any alternative but to commit suicide. They haven't been selfish (as I have heard it said) but have been so unwell that they cannot think logically.
It is so hard for the family and I am very sorry for your loss x

frenchfancy Fri 19-Jan-18 10:59:13

flowers We have been through this with a family member and it is incredibly hard to come to terms with. I think of it as a cancer of the mind.

fireflame Sun 11-Feb-18 20:21:42

My sister took her own life not so long ago and my god I have never suffered with anxiety or depression until now!
This has nocked the hell out of me just can not accept it!
The pain absolutely crucifies me.
I miss her so much 😢

stopfuckingshoutingatme Wed 14-Feb-18 22:57:26

I am so sorry
I have come to realise that suicide is death of mental illness and people do it not for selfish reasons but because they literally have no other option

I hope he is at peace now and that his family can get some closure and rebuild / as hard as it will be flowers

user764329056 Wed 14-Feb-18 23:03:05

I am so sorry you are going through this, I lost a friend, same circumstances and it’s so painful, i wish there was an answer to how to get through it, a way to fast forward somehow and not have to go through the agony of loss in this way, I think the feelings around suicide are more complicated and difficult to process than a natural death, thinking of you

NorthernLurker Wed 14-Feb-18 23:04:56

We lost somebody to suicide recently and it's unbelievably painful. It's no use trying to make sense of it. It doesn't make sense.

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