5 year old built a 'Papa' out of boxes and now won't let me throw it out

[Papamadeofboxes]

My lovely Dad passed away, suddenly, in October.

Apart from when we were away on holiday, we saw him every day and my 5year old DS is missing him terribly.

He said that Xmas was going to be rubbish without his Papa there so I suggested we save his seat the table and light a candle at his place. DS then decided he'd build a Papa and, true to his word, he did, and 'he' had a place at the table on Xmas day. Heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measures!

Now DS won't let me throw 'Papa' out. He's pretty big and is still sitting at our dining room table (getting in the way) and DS won't hear of him being recycled.

Does anyone have any wise words on how I should approach this?

[Andcake]

Thought I would share this as might help

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/11/how-a-mummy-made-of-cardboard-bought-new-life-to-my-daughter

Your header reminded me of this although I don't have experience of it myself

I am sorry for your loss

[tendergreenbean]

I'm sorry for your loss op

Could you replace cardboard Papa with a photograph on the table?
Not so "in the way", but still a presence?

Could the boxes used to make Papa be decorated and repurposed into a memory box or similar, so it doesn't get thrown away? You could help him fill it with lots of little trinkets/drawings/photographs that remind him of his Papa and he can look at/touch them when he wants to think about him.

[Papamadeofboxes]

Thank you both for your replies.

That article had me in tears! Maybe I don't need to worry too much at all. I was worried he'd develop a sort of morbid fascination with his box Papa that might be detrimental over time, but I'm less worried about that now.

Maybe in time I could 'retire' him to the attic and I love the idea of repurposing him as a memory box. That is such a good idea.

Thanks again. We are all struggling a bit as he was such a pivotal member of our family I guess my sensitive DS isn't quite ready to get his head around the permanence of death and needs a little more time with his box Papa.

[tendergreenbean]

Having read that article too, I stand corrected re: replacing with a photo. Keep box papa around for now, you're right.
I hope he brings some comfort and closure.

In the long term, maybe there is a special item of Papa's he could have when he is older to remember him by? I have my grandmother's engraved first communion bracelet and music box, and my other grandmother's watch.
I was a similar age when the former died, although nowhere near as close. I wore the bracelet to her funeral and didn't take it off (except for PE, when my teacher locked it in a drawer) until I outgrew it, and wrote notes to her and put them in the music box. I can remember sitting in school whispering to her bracelet when I was nervous in a spelling test.

You can have cushions and teddies made out of old items of clothing too, just a thought.

Sorry for so many suggestions, I know I tend to go on a bit! My Grandfather who is very close to my DD has been given around 3 months, and I've been thinking a lot over the last few weeks about how everything will pan out.

[Papamadeofboxes]

Awe tender sorry to hear that. Kids are resilient. I was a bit taken aback at how much DS had been affected though. DSs cousins, 1 slightly younger and 1 slightly older, seem to be talking about their Papa less and less now. DS still mentions him several times a day, often first thing when he wakes up, and is quite obviously sad at times

I'm sure he'll be ok though, as will your DD. to help you through the next few months.

[MistyMinge]

I have no experience but wow that article is moving and has me crying into my pillow.

Sounds like cardboard Papa is good for your son. Glad you've decided to keep him, for now.

[Papamadeofboxes]

I know Misty It really got to me

Keeping 'Papa' for a little while and will see how things go.