My darling husband of 20 years died a week ago after an 11 month battle with cancer. The last four months he was very ill, bed bound and I stopped working to care for him. Myself and two of his brothers were there at the time of his death. At the moment of his death I became quite hysterical and very upset. I had known for a long time that it was going to happen but still struggled with letting him go. Now I feel guilty that I didn't let him go peacefully and that his family will think badly of me. The day of the funeral I felt quite numb and while I cried I did hold myself together and worry this will reflect badly on me too. Is this anxiety all part of the grieving process? I adored my husband and was devoted to him during his illness but I feel worried.
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