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Bereavement in 3yo

(7 Posts)
Misspilly88 Tue 10-Oct-17 11:52:08

Can anyone share their experiences or give me any advice?
My child seems to be struggling with the loss of a grandparent a few months ago. Bringing it up multiple times a day. Using very violent language and obsessed with death and killing. Child is boisterous but also very sensitive. We'd had a few huge life changes all at the same time. Every time my child becomes sad about anything this is given as the reason. What should I do?

Took dc to the funeral. Always open to talking about it and death in very matter of fact way (athiests) Have cried with dc. Have read the stuff on Cruse etc. Just want to know if I can help or should we see someone about It?

Inthesunlight Tue 10-Oct-17 11:55:24

I think at age 3 they don't need to know to much as they can't process it all at that age

Misspilly88 Tue 10-Oct-17 11:57:54

Everything I've read and in my experience the advice has been to tell them matter of factly what has happened. That's what we've done. Dc knows that she got very sick, her heart stopped, and we planted her body in the ground like a seed, and that she won't come back but she loved dc very much, we loved her and we have lovely memories of her.

LuckyBitches Thu 12-Oct-17 10:12:36

Hi OP, I don't have much (any!) practical advice on 3 year olds, but I want to say that I think you're doing the right things. I was excluded from my Grandmother's funeral at a similar age, and if I'm honest I'm still resentful 40 years later. IMO It's important that kids are included in major family experiences.

Misspilly88 Thu 12-Oct-17 22:26:38

Thank you lucky. It does feel right, telling dc about it but when it's brought up so often I do wonder. They were very close so I understand the feelings. I can't imagine not being told....must be very surreal to just not have someone in your life suddenly with no explanation.

BestZebbie Thu 12-Oct-17 22:31:47

If it helps I have a 3yr old who hasn't suffered any bereavements and also focuses a bit on death and killing (eg: can watch "Brother Bear", a film entirely about not senselessly killing things, and then wants to only act out stabbing a bear with a spear 700 times) - some of your experience might be coincidentally timed?

Misspilly88 Thu 12-Oct-17 23:24:51

Haha. Sorry I shouldn't laugh but that does sound familiar! Thanks for sharing

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