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(9 Posts)
Hotpinkangel19 Mon 19-Jun-17 14:10:38

Do you get through a funeral? I'm absolutely dreading it. I don't want to say goodbye to my mum, I want her to be back here with us. She should have lived to be really old. I don't want to go.... 🙁

VeryButchyRestingFace Mon 19-Jun-17 21:37:15

flowersflowers

I'm afraid I resorted to valium for my mum's recent funeral. My GP wrote me a prescription, no questions asked. Even the thought that I had the option of taking it or not, I found very settling.

ukulelelady Mon 19-Jun-17 21:41:27

Do you have a say in organising it? I always find it hard singing at a funeral when I was close to the person. You could include or leave out things that would make it unbearable for you. It's really hard but you are stronger than you think.

tethersend Tue 20-Jun-17 23:18:17

My mum died unexpectedly two months ago and I have to say that her funeral was the best part of those two months. I organised it, which helped as I felt as if it represented her and who she was. It also marked the start of my grieving for her properly, as I had been too stressed and anxious beforehand to do so. I was utterly staggered that it was actually not awful (as I'd been expecting it to be).

Have you been able to have any input at all? Choosing a song or writing a letter to place on/in her coffin may help.

It's not going to be easy. But it might help you in ways you can't foresee.

Good luck flowers

Poudrenez Wed 21-Jun-17 13:51:25

I understand your dread OP. When my brother died I felt very similar, but the actual funeral went by very quickly in a bit of a blur. Then we got pissed afterwards and actually had quite a nice evening. You might be surprised.

flowersflowersflowers

NavyandWhite Fri 23-Jun-17 07:15:40

I'm sorry you've lost your mumflowers
I totally get dreading the funeral. When we lost Ds that was one of the first things that I thought of. It terrified me.

What helped was going to see him at the chapel of rest. Seeing his coffin.

You will get through it OP. Hopefully with lots of love and support from family and friends as you say goodbye from this world to your dear mum. I also had a tiny glass of port too. Not sure if you're supposed to or not but it definitely helped.

imsorryiasked Fri 23-Jun-17 07:23:32

This probably sounds really twee, but your mum is going to be with you always in your heart, you don't have to say good bye to her at the funeral. I treated the funeral as a celebration of her life and filled it with happy memories, so while it was sad and emotional, we also smiled through our tears.
flowers

Hotpinkangel19 Fri 23-Jun-17 07:44:10

Thank you xx I managed, I cried but it was okay. I'm 11 weeks pregnant so no port, but it would have helped xx

NavyandWhite Fri 23-Jun-17 09:18:12

Glad to hear it went ok. Look after yourself flowers

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