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Expressing condolances

(8 Posts)
MrsExpo Fri 12-May-17 19:42:07

Hello everyone .... could you advise please. I am struggling with modern etiquette (if there is any) for sending condolence messages. I heard today of the sad passing of the husband of a woman who I knew as a customer of her business. We were close in a businesslike sort of way and I knew and liked her husband over the 8 or 9 years I did business with them. I ceased the business arrangement when I moved out of the area. He passed away after a long illness and it wasn't entirely unexpected. Do I phone, text, FB message, send flowers? I feel I need to do/say something but don't want to be either too pushy or appear uncaring. All advice very welcome. Thank you.

Optimist1 Fri 12-May-17 20:00:02

I'd opt for a letter or card with a few sentences expressing your condolences. In my experience, the letters and cards and sentiments therein are a great comfort to the bereaved.

Something along the lines of "I was so sorry to hear the news about X. I fondly remember our business relationship and always appreciated his fair approach to our negotiations. He was a true gentleman with a wonderful sense of humour. I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts; I'm sure you're all helping each other through this sad time." wouldn't be appreciated, I'm sure.

Optimist1 Fri 12-May-17 20:00:31

would be appreciated, obviously!! smile

Redglitter Fri 12-May-17 20:05:59

I'd say don't phone. Text, card or flowers are lovely though

2DaysOffSchool Fri 12-May-17 20:09:17

Card and a donation to suitable charity? My dad kept all the condolence cards and letters from when my mum passed. Was nice to see how many people thought well of her.

PetraDelphiki Fri 12-May-17 20:15:56

Don't send flowers - they are just another hassle at a time when the bereaved is overwhelmed...then they droppetals everywhere which needs clearing up then they die and have to be dealt with. Handwritten card I suggest.

AnnieAnoniMouse Fri 12-May-17 20:21:22

I think a card is the best option.

It's nice to get a card that says something other than 'sorry' too, something about the person. Something you liked about them or a nice or funny memory. It's lovely to know people care.

I srcond the 'no flowers' because whilst they're lovely it was an extra job to deal with them and I cried every time I had to throw dead ones out. Though, that might just be me. IF you really feel you want to send flowers, then send the ones that can stay in the vase/box they're delivered in. NIT ones that need a vase.

MrsExpo Fri 12-May-17 21:24:02

Thanks all ... of course, a good old fashioned card is the best thing to do. I think we all get a bit hung up on modern technology these days, but a had written note would be so much better.

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