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How do I help my friend?

(6 Posts)
user1485984489 Fri 24-Mar-17 20:30:22

My friend lives in another country, and her baby (aged 24 days) just died. Sorry for being blunt, and I won't explain this. (Baby died due to medical reasons, which I won't disclose here.)

How can I help her get through this awful, awful time? We are not very close, but that doesn't mean I can't see how much pain and trauma both she and her husband are going through.

Any advice appreciated. I just want to help but don't want to intrude. (She has a close family, just know she is devastated).

YellowRoss Fri 24-Mar-17 20:36:02

I'm so sorry for your friend.

The worst thing for me were the people who didn't contact me or just didn't ask.

I would drop her a letter or message or call and just say how sorry you are. You'll get a feeling if she wants to talk.

user1485984489 Fri 24-Mar-17 20:43:25

Thank you, have done that, just feel so powerless. And unable to help.

NeonGod73 Fri 24-Mar-17 20:45:12

There's nothing you can do except offer your condolences. After all, she lives in another country and you said you are not very close. If she has a close family, I am sure they are all she needs at this time.

user1485984489 Fri 24-Mar-17 20:47:03

PS YellowRoss, I am sorry for your loss too.

minmooch Sat 25-Mar-17 13:05:36

Just remember her child. That's all we want, those of us who have lost a child. We want acknowledgement that our child is a part of our family and always will be. We want acknowledgement that this Childs life and loss is such a huge, hideous loss and will change us forever. We will always love our child in the present tense.

Send a card/letter. Mention the Childs name. Ring her every so often. Grief is isolating and endless. Perhaps a friend who is one step removed is just the type of person she can let go to. We protect those we are close to from the horrors of grief.

Be kind and gentle with her. Forgive her her silences or rages. She is forever changed.

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