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How do you manage everything else when grief hits?!

(3 Posts)
Rinkydinkypink Sat 18-Mar-17 17:25:03

My Fil died 3weeks ago after years of illness. I've been really focused on every one else until a couple of days ago and the grief hit me.

It now comes in waves. Overwhelming waves of raw emotion and anxiety. I'm exhausted. Not slept well for months. And after months of stress I've finally let go only for this to happen.

I've just started a new job. Literally this week which was the breaking point. I don't know how I'm going to manage work, home and my grief. The grief is far more intense than other deaths and I've lost a lot of people.

Im trying to rest. Take each day as it comes and the real turn around for me is stopping myself worrying about everyone else.

How do i cope with these waves at work? They numb me to my core and my brain just empties. I get a sinking feeling so intense i could throw up and then the tears start.

Abacha Sun 19-Mar-17 11:31:36

Hi Rindy,

All you can do, is really take it day by day. I lost my son at 5 days old in July 2015 and I remember thinking then that I could never see myself laughing again. The grief was intense.

It took time, support of my family, a lot of talking and counselling. I went back to work after my maternity leave and in the beginning it was hard, they were 5 of us returning at the same time and of course they were excited and wanted to talk about their babies.

I really didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so I started faking it till I made it. If the grief hit me at work, I just went to the loo, and had a good cry.

It's hard, it really is,people grief in different ways but you must always be kind to yourself first especially if you've had to take care of others. You're important too and you shouldn't forget that

Rinkydinkypink Sun 19-Mar-17 13:46:53

I'm sorry about your DS. I've lost children in late stage pregnancy so i have a good understanding of how much it hurts.

I think I'm only just recognising that i need to take care of my needs. Every one else has come before me for probably years if I'm honest.

The morning s are especially hard at the moment. I feel so tired and run down and I'm obviously really worried about the affect all this is having on my husband which at the moment seems very little.

I've forgotten how to take care of me. I'm having to relearn it fast!

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