Hi, Our son passed away nearly 3 years ago, at only 3 days old. We are just becoming able to deal with getting his headstone engraved. I have spoke to the vicar with what we would like put on there but he has had to forward it to the local Diocesan. They have asked us to change some of the wording which isnt too much of a problem but they have denied us of any art engraving. We asked to have 2 teddy bears either side of the engraving, but new laws state this is not allowed. It seems a little harsh as all we want is something to symbolise a child, its not offencive or distasteful to anybody. Has anybody else had these issues and managed to get around them, or is this a hard rule and thats that? Thanks
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a child and how hard it must have been for you to get to this point.
I don't really know what to suggest. The law the vicar has referred to would not be in the legal sense but the law of that church or diocese. Many churches have their own rules about things being in keeping with the church yard. Could you speak to the vicar about what you want and show that it isn't 'over the top' but just a symbolic thing that is important to you? If there are other headstones in the church yard that are similar that may help.
Our church is fairly conservative but when it comes to the children's head stones they are fine with whatever the parents want.
Hope you resolve this - the last thing you need is a battle of it